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Emily Winter

Emily Winter can't hear you over the sound of all these motorcycles and barbershop quartets. Follow her on Twitter @EmilyMcWinter.

20 Pickup Lines for When You See Your High School Classmates at Your Hometown Bar


Hey cutie, your next drink’s on me. (I’ve saved a lot of money because I’m still on my parents’ phone plan.)

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The 41 Funniest Things Ever Said About Love, Sex & Relationships

“I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.”

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23 Reasons to Date an Irish Person

#22 Natural red heads are a dying breed. Do the world a favor: bone a ginger.

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21 Signs Your One Night Stand Was Awesome

#14 You’ve started naked rapping in the mirror again.

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20 Pickup Lines For The Juice Bar

Juice bars are popping up all over the place, so why not get some sugar with your antioxidants?

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What’s Your Burlesque Name?

Ever wonder what your name would be if you slapped tassels on your nips and mastered the art of strip comedy?

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8 Things They Don’t Tell You About Dating A Comedian

I’m a standup comedian, and I’ve dated standup comedians. *barfs on self*

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19 Awful Things To Say After Sex

#11 I think you owe me an apology.

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19 Awesome Things To Say After Sex

“Even a terrible version of that would have been mind-blowing.”

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18 Things I Will Demand When I’m A Bridezilla

I’m not ready for marriage, but I’m definitely ready for a wedding.

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13 Humorous Alternatives To “It’s Not You, It’s Me”

Be a real STEALTHY DUMPER like THE SLY FOX OF A NEWLY-MINTED SINGLETON THAT YOU ARE.

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22 Red, White, And Smooth 4th Of July Pickup Lines

#3 Baby, you’re a firework.

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15 (Hilarious, Kind Of Sad, But Also True) Signs It’s Time To Get Laid

Sometimes you forget you have sex parts.

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23 Reasons To Date A Midwesterner

Even our hipsters smile.

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Shiver His Timbers: 21 Sailor Pickup Lines For Fleet Week

Let’s go out and BOTH drink like sailors.

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Pickup Lines For Your Waiter Or Waitress That Will Actually Work

You brought me lunch, can I bring you dinner?

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Muy Caliente Cinco de Mayo Pickup Lines To Woo Your Muneca

Aye Caramba!

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13 Kick@ss Kickball Pickup Lines To Help You Score

Girl, I’d watch you from behind a chain-link fence.

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12 Perks of Dating a Baseball Player

A baseball player… understands that getting to third base takes commitment.

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Hunger Games Pickup Lines That Katniss, Peeta and Gale Swear By

Girl, you look like you were created by Cinna himself.

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