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The Best Way to Pick Up Women? Be a Cupcake

I’m more of a cider donut girl, myself.

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If Coffee Makes You More Honest, Then Should All Dates Be Coffee Dates?

Fatigue makes liars of us all.

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A Definitive List of Abbrevs That Are Sexy and Abbrevs That Are Gross

U won’t C me l8r, but you cld srsly get it rn.

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Now You Can Send the Dick in Your Life a Huge Cardboard Penis

A very special package.

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Man Steals Date’s iPhone After She Refuses to Go Home with Him

Who says chivalry is dead?

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Man Writes Craigslist Ode to Date Who Pooped Herself in His Car

“To the woman who crapped her pants in my car.”

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Since When Don’t Dudes Like Ladies Who Drink Beer?

The joke’s on you, gentlemen.

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This Gross App Lets You Bet Money On Your Friends’ Impending Breakups

Turn gossip into cash.

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The Disembodied Woman’s Hand iPhone Case of Your Dreams Is Finally Here

Did I say dreams? I mean nightmares.

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Chinese Man Proposes by Folding His $33,000 Life Savings into Cash Roses

Romantic? Maybe. A sound investment? Proooobably not.

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Please Stop Making Literally Everything in the World Heart-Shaped for Valentine’s Day

For the love of Cupid, cut it out.

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Girls in Japan are Hiding Their Own Menstrual Blood In Valentine’s Day Chocolates

There are chocolates filled with cordial cherries, and then there are chocolates filled with menstrual blood.

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Most Women Supposedly Want Botox For Valentine’s Day

Because nothing says “I love you just the way you are” like a little cosmetic enhancement.

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Hong Kong Billionaire’s Daughter To Father: ‘Please Accept that I’m a Lesbian’

The lesbian daughter of a Hong Kong billionaire is openly asking her father to accept her homosexuality.

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If You Win the Norwegian Lottery, You Can Come Out of the Closet Like a Gay Millionaire

Are you gay? Are you closeted? Are Norwegian? Have you considered winning the lottery?

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7 Out of 10 Anime Fanatics Would Choose Their Hobby Over Love

Why not find someone who likes the same freaky shit you do, then get all freaky together?

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Four Women Steal 300 Pairs of Victoria’s Secret Panties All Willy-Nilly

Four women. 300 pairs of underwear. One Crime.

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These $20,000 Gold Sweetheart Candies Are Everything That’s Wrong With Valentine’s Day

Because most things shouldn’t come in 24-karat gold.

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Chinese Man Will Spend $165K to Rent PhD Virgin Girlfriend

If you’re a virgin who weighs no more than 110 pounds and have a PhD, here’s a lucrative opportunity for you.

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Scottish Man Texts Ex-Girlfriend to Tell Her He’s Dead

Corpses, generally, aren’t great at using technology.

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