10 Bad Habits Women Have On First Datesby Kevin Armento on March 01, 2012
2. Letting it turn into an interview. The opposite extreme leaves some women walking away from the date thinking “God, he like barely talked at all.” Yeah, that’s because you answered every question in paragraphs and then waited until he asked the next one. A lot of guys aren’t naturally forthcoming, so you have to ask back.
3. Leaving the guy at the steering wheel all by himself. Good date planning means loose planning, and when there’s a choice to be made (Another drink? What kind of food sounds good?), stop saying “I don’t care.” You’re leaving all the work to him, which is not the end of the world, but it leaves him thinking you don’t have any opinions on anything — which is much, much worse than disagreeable opinions.
4. Nervous phone checking. Look it’s not that I get offended if you’re repeatedly checking your phone during the date, and it’s not even a politeness thing — it’s that it’s unattractive. If there’s a little lull in our conversation (which is a totally normal and not bad thing), manically unlocking your phone gives off an impression of insecurity, or that you need to be constantly entertained.
5. The inside joke stories. I’m sure you have lots of funny stories to share; just stop telling the ones that end in “You had to be there.”
6. Not being yourself. This may seem trite, but faking knowledge or interests is an immediate turn-off, and it’s something most people can sniff out right away. You don’t have to agree on everything or share every interest to have a great first date, and in fact it’s often much more fun to find the things you do disagree on.
7. Mentioning something you saw on his Facebook page. I’m a blogger, so I spend a lot of time on the Internet, and I have a fair amount of female friends — so I don’t get that weirded out if you’ve checked out my Facebook before the date (and some guys do it too, obviously). But a lot of men will get weirded out if you reveal that, alright? Even with the best intentions, it can come across as over-eager, when what we’re really attracted to are the women too busy to check out our social profiles before the first date.
8. Rushing to judgments. There are two things that happen by nature that make for many many bad first dates out there: 1) guys get nervous and don’t act like themselves, and 2) women generally (not always!) make quick intuitive judgments about men. In combination, it amounts to a lot of genuinely good guys that women are passing over. So hit the brakes a little, and give him a chance to be himself.
9. Wrestling with sex. Some women can have sex on the first date and not lose an ounce of sleep, some have a mandated three-date policy, and there’s everything in-between. The bad habit here is pretending to be one, while really wanting to be the other, or wrestling with how in the past you’ve tended to do this, but now you don’t want to, etc. Externalizing all this conflict leaves your guy majorly confused.
10. Letting things go without a fight. I hate that I’m even writing this one, because it stems from a fault of men. After a first date, even a great one, sometimes we let a few days go by and because we’re busy or whatever, we neglect getting back in touch about date two, and then it’s a week, and then we feel so bad that we’ve neglected it and assume that you’re pissed at us that we drop the whole thing. It’s horrible and cowardly, right? Thing is, last time I checked, a phone works two ways, so stop staying silent through all this to “not look too available.” If you want date two, nudge him, make fun of his flakiness, until you either get the date or you’re reasonably confident that he really is just not that into you (and didn’t just flake). I’m convinced that in the 2012 dating world, it takes mutual effort, ’cause most men don’t pursue like they used to.