Normally, we go to bars on weekends, with great big groups of friends. This is the stuff that brunch stories are made of, but not always the best way to meet people (if you’re looking to meet people).
Yesterday, we learned that many women are drawn to men when they’re by themselves, doing their own thing. Additionally, men are often too shy to approach women when they’re out with a gaggle of girlfriends.
Venturing out to a bar by yourself may seem awkward and intimidating, but in reality it’s a great way to meet potential love interests.
But how does one avoid seeming too on-the-prowl? Or, too much like this:
Here are five tips on how to hang with the barflys.
1. Put Away Your Phone
It’s a crutch! It makes people think you’re waiting for someone/busy/don’t want to be bothered. There’s really nothing sexier than someone just sitting at a bar, enjoying their drink, and decompressing after a long day.
2. Have Dinner At The Bar
Don’t feel like making dinner? Resist the urge to grab something to take home, and treat yourself to dinner at a bar. (Either something off the menu of an actual bar, or at a restaurant bar.)
It’s totally easy to make conversation with the people sitting next to you, most of whom are probably single, or happy to have company. If you feel shy, you can whip out a book, which in itself can always be a conversation starter.
You also won’t feel like a loser at a bar by yourself…cause you aren’t! You’re a confident and urbane person grabbing a bite to eat after what one can only imagine was an exhausted yet fulfilling day.
3. Go on a Weeknight
Bars are crazy on weekends — bartenders are swamped, people are out with big groups of friends, the music is loud, and it’s probably less weird to stay in on a Saturday night than it is to go to a crowded bar, alone. (Especially if you’re a guy! Girls don’t want to be approached on a Saturday night by the guy who is there alone.)
On a weeknight, however (especially Mondays and Tuesdays), bars are much more relaxed places, full of regulars enjoying a relaxed drink or two. Bartenders are much less frantic (and much more willing to pour you a free drink or two), and patrons much more likely to engage the people around them.
4. Get The Bartender On Your Side
A bartender can be the best and most subtle wingman there is — especially if it’s a slow night. It’s easy for them to get information about someone you’ve been eying, strike up a conversation that somehow gets you involved, and, (if they’re especially nice) ply a couple with some free drinks to help keep things going. (I’ve totally been sent drinks from the bartender when out on a date because it looked like we were “having a nice time.”)
5. Have A Good Time
If you sit at a bar by yourself and basically STARE at a cute guy or girl, you will seem like a predator. If you sit hunched over your phone/drink, you will seem like an alcoholic.
The point is to not put too much emphasis or pressure on meeting someone — just have a nice time. Laugh it up with the bartender, or the kooky guy who always sits in the same seat and orders the same thing, or the girls celebrating a recent engagement. Let the bartender mix you up some fun drinks, enjoy the sports game that’s on, enjoy the music, and think about how cool it is to be an adult and do whatever the hell you want on a school night. Think about how people have been coming to bars and having a drink after a long day of work for hundreds and hundreds of years.
If you look happy and convivial, people will automatically be drawn to you, maybe even people who weren’t expecting or hoping to meet anyone that night.
And remember, meeting people is just as important as meeting your soul mate. Maybe the person you are supposed to be with wasn’t at that bar on that night….but their roommate or sister was.