I was gchatting my boyfriend today (NORMAL things. We were actually, no joke, talking about a sneaker class being offered in New York — sneakers make up about 75% of what we talk about) when I started blasting him with these “sexy” “text messages” from Cosmo. I started with:
“I had a stressful day. Want to help me unwind? ;)”
And he was like, “What do you mean you had a stressful day? It’s 12:30? Why the wink?” (I’m not usually an emoticons kind of person.) Also, I accidentally copy and pasted directly from the website, including the quotation marks. So clearly, I am not good at this.
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Some of them, though, are alright. Meaning, I would not feel too ridiculous saying them. Like, “Caught a glimpse of your ass when you left this morning. Amazing.” and “I’m not wearing any underwear.”
But I can’t hear myself saying most of them with a straight face:
“Meet me at my place in an hour. Clothing optional.”
“I’ve been thinking about you all day. It hasn’t been innocent.”
“I hid something for you in my cleavage. Frisk me later to find it.”
“That tie you’re wearing? Let’s use it tonight.”
“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
(See the full list here.)
My boyfriend and I kind of disagree. “These are bad, but you know what? As a participant of the male population I can say that shit works. It’s sad but true. Seriously every guy I know falls for that shit.”
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The takeaway?Get over yourself and try it out. You might feel silly, but if nothing else, you both will get a good laugh.