Editor’s note: This post was originally published in April. Still relevant, though.
THAT guy. Who is THAT guy? What makes that guy THAT guy?
It’s simple: He’s the guy that you don’t want to be. But, are you THAT guy? How can you tell?
Here are 15 surefire signs that you might very well be the guy that guys don’t want to be (and that girls don’t want to date):
1. You start a sentence with “the problem with women today is…”
2. You just speak English LOUDER to people who don’t speak English. (Because maybe they speak loud English, right?)
3. You’re a massage therapist…and you use that as a pick-up line.
4. You tell a woman that she’s “feisty” but it’s alright because you “like that.”
5. You’re wearing socks and sandals. You are, in fact, the patron saint of “that guy.”
6. You forgot to shut your phone off at the symphony. It goes off. Your ringtone is “Beethoven’s 5th.”
7. You flirt with the waitress. Then you tell your date that you don’t think she’s a very good waitress.
8. You’re a non-Spanish speaker who is trying to speak Spanish to someone who clearly speaks English.
9. You want your date to understand how alienating it is for you to be right all the time.
10. You have to say the title and artist of every song that comes on — “Born in the USA by THE BOSS. Nice one.”
11. You’re wearing a Bruce Springsteen T-Shirt. Or a James Taylor t-shirt. Or any t-shirt that has the face of a still-living, middle-aged man on the front with tour dates on the back.
12. You’re quoting Austin Powers.
13. You “don’t understand why people are so uptight about sex.”
14. You like her because most women are intimidated by your intelligence. You tell her that.
15. When you say “I don’t want to be ‘THAT guy,’ but…” you put air quotes around “THAT guy.”
What’d we miss? Tell us in the comments.