I don’t know why guys get all the credit for being able to set up their friends: girls do it just as often and just as well. If you’re looking to play wingwoman to one of your girlfriends, follow these guidelines and you’ll be everyone’s favorite friend in no time.
The perfect wing relationship between two single women is one in which both parties have completely opposite taste in men. If one girl likes mountain men and the other likes preps? Perfect! If both parties like broody hipsters, then you’re forced to go through a really awkward back-and-forth of “Oh….you can have him…” “No, no, you go ahead…”
YOU know how awesome and funny and cool your friend is, but there’s a chance she’s not so sure about it when faced with the daunting task of talking to/approaching men. So pep her up! You are her Coach and she is going to go out there and WIN THE GAME of meeting someone tonight! The more confident you can get her to feel about herself, the less work you’ll have to do later in the night.
People are usually more shy when it comes to starting a conversation with someone they’re interested in, so check your pride at the door and be the first to talk to the guy in question, so that your friend doesn’t have to. (ANYTHING to get the conversation started, from “What’s the score?” to “Will you pass the napkins?” will do!)
Cute Guy: Oh, I love this song!
You: Really? Omg! Melissa ALSO loves music!
Cute Guy: Oh, I love this song!
You: Oh, you like The XX? I’ve never gotten into them, but Melissa is always trying to get me to listen to them.
You want your FRIEND to be the one that sticks out, so remember your only job is to facilitate the beginning of a conversation and then get out of there. If you talk to him too long, you might end up having too many things in common with him, or worse, hating him.
You wanna see if this thing is gonna sink or float as soon as possible, or move on, so take a bathroom break and give the conversation a chance to breathe without you. If they’re still talking when you get back, and if neither look especially relieved upon your return, you’re looking good; if not, move on.
So, the guy has an annoying/not cute/chatty friend. You know what I’m gonna say, don’t you? Step up to the plate and take one for the team. Be friendly and keep him occupied while giving your friend a chance to talk to her quarry uninterrupted.
Part of being a good wingwoman is knowing when to bow out. As soon as you see that the conversation is tripping along successfully without your help (and you’ve tested this with at least two bathroom breaks), stretch your arms, yawn, and announce that you’re calling it a night. Be VERY decisive in your language (“I’m gonna head home…have a good night, guys!”) so your friend won’t be put in the position of having to decide whether or not to leave with you. (If you say “sooo….I think I’m gonna take off…..Melissa are you gonna stay?”, it might be sort of awkward for her to have to say “Uh, I guess…I dunno….” if she’s shy.)
The absolute most important thing you can do as a wingwoman, friend, and decent human being, is look out for your friend’s well-being. If you think the guy is sketchy, if you’re worried that she’s had too much to drink, stay and look out for her. Make sure she’s making smart choices.
A good wingwoman will be easily reached for text message updates, and available for brunch or coffee the next day to discuss the entire thing, going over every little detail, FOR AS LONG AS SHE WANTS TO. Because, the day will come when you’ll want someone to eagerly discuss the tiniest details of a night with you, too.