Advice

What Do Women Really Think Of Men’s Bodies?

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The Gloss recently published a collection of women’s frank, candid, anonymous opinions about their turn-ons and turn-offs regarding the male form. While the proclivities of 11 women shouldn’t speak for their sex as a whole, these particular women’s stories do shed some light on a question that weighs more heavily on men minds than most people think. Of course, the specifics varied from lady to lady, but the following sentiments were somewhat consistent.

1. Talent over physique
If you want to turn a woman on, being really awesome at whatever you’re awesome at may be more important than having a slammin’ bod.

2. Be bigger than they are
Of course, it takes all kinds, but women do seem to like it when a man can wrap them up in their big, meaty arms (which are at the end of their broad, hairy shoulders which top off their barrel chest, and so forth). Some of the women polled even suggested that it doesn’t matter how big you are, as long as you’re bigger than they are.

3. Don’t complain about your weight
If you can’t get over it, they can’t get over it. When you complain about your body, but don’t do anything about it, you come off as unmotivated. Which is an even bigger turnoff than anything physical, from what I understand.

4. “Handsome Pelvis”
Only one woman mentioned this trait specifically, but it’s something I’ve heard before. Besides, the phrasing is so nice isn’t it? “Handsome Pelvis.” It makes me want to get up from my desk and do side-crunches for the rest of the day. [Ed note: Um, it's actually called an "Adonis Belt" or an "Apollo's Belt." Not that I've spent any time Google-image-searching it.]

5. Face over figure
Would we even refer to a man’s body as his figure or is that a gender-specific term? At any rate, a man’s face seems to be more important than his… frame.

6. What she looks at may not be what she looks for
I think this is true of men, too — we learn the difference between fantasy and reality. When you get on in years (and in sexual partners) you realize that the prettiest, handsomest, leanest, most chiseled, etc. people might are rarely actually the best in bed.

7. Trying too hard is a turn-off
What turns a woman on is unquestionably unique to every woman. However, we can probably agree that “trying too hard” is an almost universal turn-off. And it applies to men’s bodies, too. If you look like you spend every free moment at the gym, chugging Muscle Milk and hollering for a spotter, you’re probably not scoring as often as you think you should be. Think of it this way: working out constantly is the masculine equivalent of “primping.” Doesn’t seem so sexy now, does it?

8. It’s about what your body says about your lifestyle
A little belly’s okay if you’re a craft beer enthusiast or a foodie. Occupational hazard. Having a fit physique that suggests hiking, cycling or, I don’t know, ultimate frisbee shows that you care about your health and your enjoyment of life more than your body fat percentage. Some women also expressed that a guy’s not-completely-perfect body implies that he won’t judge hers too harshly either. And that he might be down for a snacky feast in front of some HBO original programming every once in awhile.

[The Gloss]