Advice

Breaking The Dating Seal: Why Going On Dates Gets You More Dates

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Are you going through a dating dry spell, having a really hard time finding someone you’re interested in? Here’s a novel, if somewhat counter-intuitive solution: go on a date.

As anyone who’s been through a dry spell can attest (and, if you haven’t gone through one, you should just pretend that you have for the sake of other people’s self-esteem), the psychological toll can be heavy. You start to lose confidence. You start to approach every trip to the grocery store or night out with the dangerous mindset of “Maybe I’ll meet someone! Maybe tonight I will END THE SPELL!” In other words, you become desperate.

The thing about desperation is that, in addition to its annoying psychological ramifications, other people can sense it. The second you meet someone, they can see it in your hungry eyes, hear it in the tremor of your voice, smell it in your pheromones, which are screaming “Please, PLEASE, I’m yours for the taking!”

The solution? Go on a date. Sign on to HowAboutWe (or, hell, any other dating site, though obviously we think ours works best), propose a date, or find a date that you would like to go on, and make a date. The point is to just get out there. Kickstart your dating life. Break the seal.

Sometimes, all it takes is one date to get you out of your funk. Your panic starts to subside. Your desperation recedes. Armed with the knowledge that someone likes you enough to go on a date with you, you become more confident, and thus more likeable. You’re in the swing of things, in terms of relating to the opposite sex, and therefore more ready and likely to find someone serious.

As blogger Meredith Haggerty pointed out to me, regularly dating “…makes a person less stressed about ‘FINDING SOMEONE AH!!’ and that makes them easier to be around.”

So go ahead. Just go on a date, and let the good dating karma wash over you.