[ed. note: This post was originally published on June 8th, 2011]
In the wake of “Weinergate,” men sending “erotic” pictures of themselves is, once again, a subject of much controversy in the media. And by “controversy,” I mean the entirety of the internet saying “Ewwwww!” and giggling for two weeks.
The practice of sending (usually) unsolicited pics of the family jewels seems to be so common among celebrities and politicians these days that one has to wonder — does it ever work? Do women ever receive these pictures and get even mildly turned on? Is there ever enough of a positive female response to make the ensuing scandal even remotely worth it?
I did some investigating and found several women who were willing to talk openly, albeit anonymously, about their sexting habits and what’s in it for them. As it turns out, there are, in fact, quite a few things that women find attractive about erotic photos of men. Many of them, perhaps somewhat predictably, have to do with the suggestion of a fantasy or a pre-established sexual connection, but women are sometimes turned on by a straight-up dick pic! Here are some of the highlights and takeaways from an enlightening series of conversations.
1. The Adonis Belt
It goes by many names — “Apollo’s Belt,” “The Athlete’s Girdle,” or, properly, The Illiac Furrow — but, whatever you call it, the Adonis Belt is widely recognized as the holy grail of male to female sexting. It refers, of course, to the grooves created where a particularly fit abdomen meets the hipbones and it can be traced all the way down.
“Anna,” (26, Massachusetts) describes it as kind of a tease; “I’m a big fan of the lower abdomen region, just above the wang, flashing just a little pubes, but the focus is on the hips and abs.”
This seems to be lesson #1, guys: Suggestion is sexier than just flashing your business.
“I get really turned by underwear bulge,” says “Laura,” 29, New York, “Hard or soft. Doesn’t matter. I mean, of course it’s hotter if it’s hard, but either’s good.”
So maybe Rep. Anthony Weiner had the right idea on this one. The “bulging manhood” motif was a consistently cited turn-on among the women interviewed, with some variation.
“I’m a fan of the boner in boxers,” says “Carley,” 26, California, “but boxer-briefs or tightie-whiteys are only good on some people. Tight underwear is for girls.”
3. “I did that!”
There are certain circumstances in which a point blank, naked penis shot will be tolerated, but don’t go crazy, you guys. Women tend to enjoy the fact that they have made a guy hard, and they might be interested in taking a look at their handiwork.
“If I know a person, and I know that I am specifically causing their boner, then I like to see it,” says Anna, “There are good and bad ways take a picture of your own dick, but if the idea behind it is ‘Baby, you’ve made me so hard right now, I have to show you’, that’s good.”
4. If it’s not hard, don’t bother
“Flaccid is kind of sad,” says Nicole, 24, New York, “It’s definitely not a turn-on.”
This seems like a no-brainer, but apparently you’d be surprised. Unpleasantly surprised.
5. Being all manly and whatnot
“Kat,” (35, Connecticut) is unabashedly turned on by men doing manly man things.
“I really like this photo this one guy sent me which showed him after a day at the machine shop, naked, about to get in the shower, wiping grease handprints off his own back.”
Traditionally masculine depictions seem to work well across the board. Hairy chests, tool belts, gun belts, and “sweating in dirty Carharts,” were all noted as classics.
6. “Anonymous c*ck is creepy.”
“There’s a big difference when its someone you’re sleeping with,” said Carley, “Knowing that body/dick makes it sexy. Anonymous c*ck is creepy.”
This sentiment was universal among the women interviewed. Snapshots of a Johnson that a woman knows and loves are WAY better than strange wood.
7. Don’t recycle
The fresh, in-the-moment stuff, is definitely better than whatever standard wang shot you keep cached. Anna complained of what can only be called outright laziness in sexting: “A re-used dick pic (‘ugh… didn’t you send this to me last week?’) is not very hot at all. I like my pictures hot off the presses.”
8. Sending pics is more of a turn-on than receiving
The women interviewed all agreed that they were turned on by turning guys on. More so even than the most chiseled Adonis Belt pointing the way down to the most thunderous of bulges.
“I like knowing I can turn him on even when I’m not there,” said Anna, “Looking sexy and having that confirmed for me is empowering and makes me feel like a sexual creature.”
Carley agrees. “Sending and knowing what his reaction will be is the best.”
So, sexting is not just a one-way street.
What can guys learn from this? Same as always. If you want to turn a woman on, pay attention and establish a connection before you just whip it out… and send a snapshot. Women can be turned on by visual stimulus, though, in most cases, it seems that there has to be a “story” to back it up.