Sex Etiquette: Do You Agree Or Disagree With These “Rules”?by Chiara Atik on June 20, 2011
If you have sex with someone, do you have to stay the night? Offer sleepwear? Fold a person’s clothes as you remove them? We want to know what you think!
The Frisky has compiled a list of examples of poor sex etiquette. Some of their examples, such as “ask before you try anything kinky” and “always be prepared to use a condom,” are hard to disagree with. (These basically boil down to “Be safe and always wait for consent.”)
But other, more specific “rules” seem a little…stringent?
“Ruining clothing. Do not throw our cocktail dress on your unswept floor. Do not chuck our bra and panties with the dust bunnies under your bed. Do not cover our new pants with lube. We’re all for ripping off clothes in the heat of the moment, but be mindful of our duds.”
I guess I don’t really understand like, what the guy is supposed to do in this situation? Rip off my bra in a fit of passion…and then carefully fold it and place it on the nightstand? Sexily unzip my cocktail dress…and then pause the proceedings to go hang it up in the closet? Maybe take a second to go over it with a lint roller?
If I was so worried about a particular item of clothing, I would see to it myself that it got properly placed in an acceptable location, but I can’t imagine wearing anything that cannot survive an hour or so on the floor.
“Not spending the night. The only way to get out of spending the night together post-coitus is to discuss it before you’ve done the deed. Anything less and you are an ass.”
Ahem, why would the gentleman assume he was invited to spend the entire night? I think this is way more of a case-by-case basis than a general rule. There are certainly many people for whom post-coital intimacy is an important and necessary part of sex. There are just as many others — both men and women — who have places to be the next day, or who simply just don’t want to spend the entire night with someone.
Sure, it sucks to want someone to stay over and have them leave. It also sucks to want someone to leave and have them stay. In this day and age, sex should not necessarily be a night-long commitment. If that’s a dealbreaker for you, that’s what should be discussed beforehand.
But The Frisky definitely got it right with this faux-pas:
“Not offering sleepwear. If we’ve learned anything positive from The Situation, it’s that a woman likes to be offered something comfortable to wear while sleeping over. An old—but laundered!—T-shirt is much appreciated.”
I may not mind if my cocktail dress gets flung to the floor, but that doesn’t mean I want to sleep in it. And don’t just assume we’re fine to sleep in nothing. A nice, comfortable t-shirt is just thoughtful.
What do you guys think? What poor sex etiquette drives you crazy?