Mindy Kaling recently put a request on her blog for people to send in their “best friend rights and responsibilities.” This got us thinking: best friends are actually huge parts of our dating lives: they’re with us through every crush, first date, relationship, and break-up. Below are 15 “rights and responsibilities” we feel like best friends have towards each other when it comes to dating.
1. We will analyze every text message from a crush, down to the punctuation, spacing, and number of characters used. We understand that this will sometimes take hours.
2. We will agree that any crush is “really, really, cute,” and that assessment will remain constant until he or she shows a lack of interest, at which point they become “not even that cute, really…”
3. We will dutifully listen to each other’s sex questions, no matter how awkward or embarrassing. And what we don’t know the answer to, we will happily help look up online.
4. We will always be available to be each other’s Friendicators/Date Decoys/Official Third Wheels. That having been said…
5. We will always carefully read each other’s signals and know when to skee-daddle if either of us wants to be alone/make it happen with someone.
6. But if one of us utters the magic words: “Don’t leave me alone with him/her,” we will never, ever leave. Wild horses, baby.
7. We will gamely wingwoman for each other, even if it does mean taking one for the team and flirting with the boring friend.
8. We will be ready to participate in a post-date analysis the second a date ends.
9. We will dutifully mask the fact that we find each other’s boyfriend or girlfriend secretly annoying and obnoxious. He will be invited to every group outing, and we will make an effort to talk to him and include him whenever we’re all out together.
10. If a serious significant other shows up to what we thought was going to be girls night, we will not throw a fit. (But we also won’t do this too often.)
11. We will find each other’s cloyingly sweet relationship milestones adorable. We will listen to each other’s relationship bragging long after everyone else in our lives has gotten tired of it.
12. We will happily get dressed up and go “out on the town” to “hit on some hot guys!” and “get really drunk, like we used to!” if either of us feels the need to do this after a break-up.
13. We promise to keep close tabs on each other’s exes so that if he/she suddenly has a new girlfriend, we can break the news gently. (And not just see it in a Facebook newsfeed.)
14. And we will NOT stay friends with each other’s reviled exes (even if we think he or she was sort of nice).
15. We will never lose faith that the other is amazing and beautiful and wonderful and deserving of a perfect and lasting relationship. We will remind each other of this constantly.