Advice

Are You Over-Thinking… Or Just Thinking?

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Relationships, at any stage, can be complicated. People come from different backgrounds and meet each other with different needs, some of which they’re able to communicate, directly, in actual words — and many of which they are not. So, there’s a lot to think about.

Why is it then that, often times, when one express concerns about a dating situation to their significant other, one is often met with the following response — “You’re probably over-thinking it.”

While being too analytical and/or neurotic maybe the equivalent of the common cold in the dating world, daters are just as often misdiagnosed. There is a lot to think about when you’re entering into a new relationship with someone and there’s even more to think about once you’re there.

But are you over-thinking or just, you know, thinking? Here’s how to tell:

If the thoughts that you are having result in further confusion, undue suspicion, irrational fear, or complete inability to act, you’re probably over-thinking.

If the thoughts that you are having result in clarity, further insight, questions you actually want the answers to, useful conversation with your partner, a deeper self knowledge or even further curiosity about your situation, you’re probably just doing the required thinking to navigate the often brackish waters of romantic endeavors.

Another, simpler way to say identify if you’re thinking too much is to take a deep breath and ask yourself — Is this helping or hurting? If it’s helping, keep going! You’re probably on the right track. If not, seek out a distraction post-haste.

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