Advice

Occupy My Heart: 10 Lines to Help You Hook Up While You Occupy Wall Street (Or Wherever)

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1. I’m more of a retro protestor — let’s have a love-in.

2. After we occupy, do you want to occu-PIE? I know a great bakery just around the corner.

3. Want to recruit new members? Hop into my tent and we can start creating new revolutionaries.

4. Let’s lower our dependence on foreign oil by showering together.

5. Buying and selling debt securities may a high risk venture, but a venture into my heart is risk free.

6. We’re the 99 percent and my birth control is 94 percent effective. Let me know if you’re down with those odds.

7. I may hate corporate greed, but, baby, I’m greedy for your love.

8. Susan Sarandon, Kanye West, Russell Simmons and that dude from Gossip Girl all agree you should get with me.

9. Like Mitt Romney, I enjoy taking multiple positions.

10. The #OccupyMyPants movement is alive and growing stronger.

(Special thanks to Erica Sackin for gchat inspiration)

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Joy Engel lives and works in Portland, Maine where she tweets far too much and solves the occasional murder-mystery while riding around on a bicycle. Everything she writes is her personal opinion and does not necessarily represent the views of her employer or its clients.

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