Meet Marni, the Professional Wing Girl. She’s helps thousands of guys perfect their dating style and is here to answer your questions. This week’s subject: The Art of the Touch. Have something you want to ask Marni? Email us. We promise to keep it anonymous.
I’ve been told that touching is important if I want to make a connection, but I’m worried about being too forward. How can I make physical contact on a first date without creeping her out?
– [name redacted]
To touch or not to touch – it isn’t so much a question as it is an issue. But for some guys, it’s tough. Whether you’re afraid women will reject you, see you as “creepy,” or just not reciprocate, you forgo any sort of physical contact.
But when you break it down, it’s not as difficult as you might think. All you need is a simple tweak in your mindset. Here a 5 tips on how to incorporate touching into your dates with women, without fear of becoming the “creepy” guy.
Tip #1 – Establish Touch Immediately.
If we’re on a date and you don’t touch me at all for the first 30 minutes when there’s obviously a vibe, little red flags start popping up in my head. Men who don’t touch easily get shoved in the friend zone.
You want to establish that you are comfortable with touching within the first few
minutes of a date so that when your touch becomes sexually leading, it will feel natural.
Tip #2 – Don’t Over Touch
Don’t become Pokey The Bear … no woman is going to be into that.
As a general rule, short, fleeting touches lasting 1-2 seconds show interest and help sound the foundation for more. But you don’t have to punctuate every sentence with a knee-tap or shoulder brush; being the “overly touchy guy” once again triggers those red flags.
As your chemistry progresses, make those touches last a little longer and combine it with eye contact and a smirk. Super sexy!
Tip #3 – Touch These Spots for Maximum Flirting!
When touching a woman, stick to the shoulders, upper arms and the upper back
area. A soft touch on any of these body parts, will send chills up a woman’s spine
and totally turn her on. Keep it light, short and DO NOT linger.
PRO-TIP: In the beginning, you want to steer clear of her hands.
Hands are an intimate place on a woman’s body. You shouldn’t touch a woman’s
hand too early on unless it’s to shake her hand or give her a high five.
Tip #4 Don’t Be Afraid
Women can smell doubt and fear from a mile away. We respond best to confidence
and leadership. If you doubt not yourself, we’re going to sense that and doubt you do.
Don’t be timid or tentative. A man who is self-assured and assertive will touch in a
casual manner, without hesitancy or uncertainty.
Tip #5 Women Want It
Being touched by a confident man is by far the best feeling in the world for a
woman. A light graze on the leg, a hand gently stroking the forearm, gives me chills
just thinking about it.
So stop psyching yourself by thinking, “She’s totally going to be creeped out right
now if I touch her” and instead remember this statement: Women want to be
touched, so start touching!