23 Reasons To Date An Aussie

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1. They’ll never try to do baby talk, because a dingo ATE THAT.

2. All the benefits of English muffins, without the spotted dick.

3. They love to travel. Even if it’s just interstate.

4. They are SERIOUS about protection, so you’ll never get sunburned, either.

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5. They’re open minded: if you have a tail and fur and a beak and lay eggs, they’re cool with that.

6. They’re rich. In natural resources.

7. Seriously, they know how to really mine a joke.

8. You can call them gumnuts and they’ll think it’s cute.

9. If you’re “into sheep,” they know a great place for that kind of kinkery. (New Zealand.)

10. If you like baseball, you’ll love baseball played with a gigantic cheeseboard by men running around in white sofa cushions. It’s called “cricket.”

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11. They’re not afraid of spiders, snakes or Mel Gibson.

12. They’re adventurous.

13. They’re not ashamed of the sound their thongs make.

14. They’re enthusiastic. If they yell out “you ripper!” you know they’re into you.

15. If you lie motionless under them during sex, they just think you’re doing the “stingray” move.

16. If you have sex with them during “motions,” it means you’re dating a barrister. (Attorney)

17. There’s no need to wax your bikini line, unless you want to wipe Tasmania off the map.

18. If you’re into it, they’ll tan your hide.

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19. They’re generous and always BYOB.

20. They can smuggle a budgie for you.

21. They’re cuddly when high.

22. Aussie girls have seen a cockatoo.

23. When it’s time to break up, you just make like a sausage and roll.