The 10 Worst First Date Foodsby Lauren Passell on January 23, 2012
Super-Spicy Anything. Peppers can make you sweat big time, so if you perspire easily, you’ll have a head start on getting gross and damp. Add that to the fact that you might be sweating already from nerves. Let’s not fuel the fire, here.
BBQ Ribs. The average number of napkins people need when they eat BBQ ribs: 7. And it’s so not cool to keep having to ask the waitress for more, and surrounding your plate with used, balled-up napkins.
Ramen. Some people say spaghetti is off the list, but I disagree. You can totally eat spaghetti like a lady if you’re careful and haven’t had too many drinks. But noodles in soup? Woah there, cowboy. You’re asking for a slurping, noodles-flying mess. As if soup wasn’t bad enough.
Sushi. I know sushi is a popular first date activity, but I’m going to say don’t. Properly eating sushi means shoving a huge portion of raw fish into your mouth using utensils you aren’t familiar with. Your date asks you, “So, what are your top six favorite Nicholas Cage movies in order from least to greatest?” But you just crammed a spicy tuna roll into your mouth and have to chew for an awkward 20 seconds, waiting for you to swallow. Dates don’t need more awkward silences; they need less. And if you try to eat your sushi in two bites, it ends up getting all over the place and you have to practically lick off the remains with your tongue.
Beans. That magical fruit will bloat your stomach and can rev-up your body for a serious farting session, which doesn’t mix well with a serious make-out session. If you’ve been dating for awhile and you’re used to each other, beans are fine. But for the first date, avoid, okay? Even if you are a bean-eating machine and are sure you won’t experience any negative results, eating beans will make your date think, “is she gonna fart now? Is she holding in a fart?” And then if someone in the restaurant farts, you’ll probably get blamed for it. It’s not fair, but it’s true.
Buffet Food. This is actually a great dinner date idea if you don’t want to talk to your date. Because while you are at the table eating your mac n cheese ready for some great conversation, he’ll be up getting fourths of that mystery meat selection. Also, people get a little nuts at all-you-can-eat buffets, and it might be best to hide this behavior as long as possible.
TV Dinners. Maybe you should just go to the buffet. A fast food, spicy BBQ sushi/ramen buffet. And order extra asparagus. Because that is a better idea than eating frozen meals.
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