What You’re Saying By Contacting People Through Various Means

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Pretty amusing (and accurate) post written by Jay Gabbler on The Tangential tumblr. (I’m definitely guilty of Foursquare commenting when I’m bored in line at the bank, as well as flirtily contacting people by Facebook message when I don’t have their number or email.)

Facebook wall post: I don’t really have anything to say to you, but I desperately want everyone to see me having something to say to you.

Facebook message: I want to connect with you personally, but I don’t have your number or anything, so I’m hoping you see this on your phone, ideally when drunk and susceptible to indiscretion.

Related: 7 Reasons a Text is Better Than a Call

Tweet: I thought of a snappy wisecrack to direct at you for the amusement of our mutual followers. If you’re offended by that, I don’t care.

Twitter direct message: I enjoy sending tiny secret messages. I don’t really need to communicate anything—I just want to play spies.

Tumblr ask box: I’m an attention whore, and I’m hoping you’ll pimp me out with a public response. If you respond privately, I’ll be sorely disappointed.

Related: Things We’d Like to Change About Technology and Dating

Foursquare check-in comment: I’m either stalking you or bored out of my skull waiting in line at the bank.

Text message: I want to have sex with you. Yes, even if you think “we’re broken up” or “we’re just friends” or “I’m not of the correct sexual orientation to be into you” or “we’re related.”

[Read the rest here.]