Advice

3 Things Guys Freak Out About on First Dates

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Oh, Cosmo, ever-instructive on the inner workings of the male mind.

Here are 3 things guys worry about on dates (according to Cosmo), and our strategies for combatting them! (Their fears. Not the guys themselves. Obviously.)

1) They’re worried you’ll be different from what he’s expecting.

Which, yeah, duh….you’ll be better!

But, no, in all seriousness, this is an issue that both guys and girls deal with, especially when you met through an online dating site.

The first, and most obvious way, to combat this is not to lie on your dating profile. Choose a recent photo, not a blurry snapshot from high school. Describe yourself accurately — don’t claim to be the life of the party when you aren’t, don’t pretend to like things you don’t. In other words, set up realistic expectations.

But beyond that, once you get on the actual date, you have to stop worrying about whether or not you are what he expected, and focus instead on how seriously cool you are IRL. The more relaxed and comfortable you act, the more he’ll be into you.

And if ultimately, you aren’t what he expected, or he isn’t what you expected, then you cut your losses. Cause you want someone who likes you, not whatever idea he had of you before the date.

2) They’re afraid they won’t be the only one you’re interested in.

Do you like him? Is he being interesting enough? How would you rate him, say, in comparison to all the other guys in the room? According to Cosmo, these are some of the insecure thoughts that guys have flying through their heads on dates. (And girls feel this way, too! At least, I do.)

But this fear is allayed with a little first date etiquette: namely, when you’re on a date with someone, for the duration of the date, that person is the hottest person in the room. ┬áTo make them feel otherwise is just rude.

I’m not suggesting you get all coquette-ish and act more interested than you really are. Just. Whether your date lasts one drink, or all the way thru last call, and pizza after last call, when you are out with someone you should probably not be obviously checking out the other people in the room. This goes for guys, girls, everyone.

3) They’re afraid they’ll make a move too soon.

Totally valid fear. Is there anything worse than making some sort of a move — even if it’s just to put his hand on your back — and have this be awkwardly rejected?

Cosmo has solid advice for how to solve this problem:

“Simple: Beat him to the punch. If you sense your guy’s feeling awkward about getting close, signal that it’s OK by initiating the first contact yourself.”

[Cosmo: What Guys Fear on First Dates]

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