There are many people in this world who will tell you that long-distance relationships are doomed to fail, and aside from the Hollywood tear-jerking romance films always somehow either starring or involving Meg Ryan, the advice you receive from those around you is mostly accurate. They would say that the long sexless hours filled with nothing but conversation and minimal physical encounters will grind down anyone’s patience. But, being the optimist I am, have recently entered into a long-distance relationship and it seems to be working so far. So, as a gift from me to you (because I love you all), here are my tips for entering and staying in an LDR.
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You really have to make sure it’s worth it.
Any relationship is nothing to take lightly. There are many factors one must consider, such as compatibility, interests and whether or not that they say and do things that make you cringe like a mix between a stomach cramp and a cold gust of wind. These factors are especially important when entering an LDR as the only communication you have with the other person is either written or spoken. Gone are the days when you are having an argument with your significant other and they do that one cute thing with their face or eyes that make you forget what you were saying. It is pretty much just having a love affair with their brain, and if you can’t handle that then you should reconsider your position.
Good communication is tricky, and much more important.
When I am communicating with my paramour, it is sometimes instinctual to let there be a lull in the conversation so we can process things said or read. This is natural, but what you want to avoid is all lull all the time. Even though it may seem minuscule, it is important to keep the lines of communication open and share even the minute details of your day. They aren’t there to experience life with you, so make sure to let them know what is going on. Let them hear about your worries and hopes and you will both be stronger when you actually get to spend time together.
Put some extra thought into your Skype dates.
Thanks to the glory of the internet we are no longer bogged down with mailing letters or exorbitant phone bills. With video chat you can do all sorts of things including but not limited to rubbing one out. Come up with theme nights for your skype dates! Some good ones that have worked for me are: ice cream party, movie night, or a recipe share night in which you cook each others favorite meals. This is an excellent tool that helps whittle away those lonely nights.
Explore your own interests, too.
While keeping the lines of communication open, it is also important to not base every event in your day on what time you have scheduled a phone call or a skype date. Get out in the world! Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you are dead and have to forgo your social life. Just make sure to tell your partner all about it when it is over!
Don’t get bogged down with stereotypical “romantic” stuff.
I know you would like to think that when you finally do get to hang out with your significant other that every second should be spent in some sort of whirlwind of romance, but don’t try to cram too many ‘things’ in your time together. Since you don’t get to spend the time physically bonding in your pajamas watching ‘Honey Boo Boo’ that conventional couples do, make sure you spend some time doing casual things. Hell, in fact, just order a pizza and watch Netflix together. The more you try to make your meetings romantic, the less romantic they will be.