50 Non-Sexual Ways to Use the Hot Guy You Hired from Rent-a-Gent

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Rent a Gent

Need a date, a handyman, or both? Try Rent-a-Gent, a New York-based company that invites users to rent an attractive, charming man for $200 an hour, to do (almost) anything you want. The hunks for hire include karate champions, sommeliers, and strippers — you can browse men by height, body type, hair color, and even highest degree completed (no Ph.Ds yet, but stay tuned). The only catch: no sex.

Intrigued? Here are 50 useful, family-friendly tasks to get your money’s worth from your gigo-faux.

  1. Assemble IKEA furniture.
  2. Act as your bodyguard.
  3. Watch The Bodyguard with you.
  4. Make you microwave popcorn.
  5. Double-check that you turned the stove off.
  6. Read you a bedtime story.
  7. Lint roll your entire wardrobe.
  8. Do your taxes.
  9. Write you a poem.
  10. Teach you to play a guitar.
  11. Plant a tree, fell it, then use its wood to craft a custom guitar.
  12. Paint your apartment.
  13. Taste your food for poison.
  14. Carry heavy things.
  15. Carry light things.
  16. Carry medium-weight things.
  17. Fluff your pillows.
  18. Chant “Bloody Mary” three times into each of your mirrors.
  19. Vacuum.
  20. Take your selfies for you.
  21. Narrate your daily life in song.
  22. Sharpen your pencils.
  23. Sharpen your pens.
  24. Pick up some new pens, because, apparently, you can’t sharpen pens.
  25. Iron your sheets.
  26. Unclog your toilet.
  27. Set your DVR.
  28. Shred your junk mail.
  29. Send a birthday card to your grandmother.
  30. Clip letters from magazines for future ransom notes.
  31. Dust.
  32. Human coat rack.
  33. Take you dancing.
  34. Pick you up after your colonoscopy.
  35. Walk your dog.
  36. Clean your litter box.
  37. Sterilize your iguana terrarium.
  38. Prepare an eight-course gourmet meal.
  39. Greet the delivery guy at the door so he’ll think your orders haven’t been for just one person.
  40. Shovel your snow.
  41. Build a snowman in your exact likeness.
  42. Mani-pedis.
  43. Update your LinkedIn profile.
  44. Qualify you for the carpool lane discount.
  45. Diversify your portfolio.
  46. Seven-hour backrub without reciprocation.
  47. Make you a martini.
  48. Make you thirteen martinis.
  49. Tell you that you’re pretty and smart.
  50. Tell you that, not only are you pretty and smart, but you’re prettier and smarter than all of your friends.

[h/t New York Post]