7 Ways You Could Be Sabotaging Your Own Relationship

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HowAboutWe’s staff writer and dating expert Chiara Atik, whose book, Modern Dating: A Field Guide, comes out in May, sat down with the ladies at Cosmopolitan to has out the ways women (and men!) commonly sabotage their relationships, without even realizing they’re doing it. Here’s a rundown of the biggest pitfalls to avoid.


“This happens when women can’t stop comparing their real-life relationship to the Perfect Boyfriend they have in their head,” Chiara says. “No real man is likely to compare to the perfect specimen of your fantasies and continuing to compare the real thing to an exacting wish list is only going to keep you from appreciating the love you have.”

Comparing Yourself to His Ex-Girlfriends 

Try to harness your inner Nancy Drew —no matter how cute you look with a magnifying glass. “There’s no reason to investigate too deeply into your boyfriend’s past,” says Atik. “Doing so will only set you off into a downward spiral of resentment and insecurity — and for what? He’s with you now, isn’t he?”

Talking Too Much S*** About Him

“All girls vent about their relationship sometimes, but a girl who consciously bad-mouths her boyfriend to her friends and then asks their opinion of him is practically begging the to tell her to break-up with him,” explains Atik. Save the chatter for the stuff that matters.

For more tips on how to avoid self-sabotage, head over to Cosmo.