Can We All Stop Being Awful Exes?

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In the beginning it’s all flirty texts and butterflies. Every moment feels like the first time anyone has been this intensely in love. After a few months you fall into a routine and you tell yourself that it’s nice to have one person who “gets you.” Then somewhere along the way, this other person becomes the abrasive scratch on the roof of your mouth. By the bitter end you can’t fathom how you ended up sharing phone chargers with this SOB. What’s next? You break up. Or in so many unfortunate cases, it turns into a one-upmanship of cruelty.

Perhaps you email all of your shared friends about all of the messed up things you had “forgiven” your ex of doing — and attach some nude photos they’d sent you a year ago. It’s just as important to be a good ex once the relationship is over. From the outsider perspective, it’s just pathetic to drag it out.

Revenge porn became a “thing” with Hunter Moore’s now defunct website, Is Anyone Up. The site catered to vengeful exes who wished to shame their former partners. Big surprise the site mostly featured nude photos of women. Moore and a colleague have recently been indicted for hacking into personal computers to obtain nude photos and information for the site. If you have mutual friends, “slut shaming” is a good way to lose all of them.

Gosselin People mag
Image via People

Reality-TV has its bad exes too. No matter how irksome we find Jon Gosselin, his ex-wife Kate isn’t gaining any sympathy either. At this point, the two have been attacking each other in the tabloids longer than their adorable TLC reality show lasted. Even worse, they insist on putting their eight children in the middle of it with custody battles and daytime talk show publicity tours.

Just because a couple looks “perfect” doesn’t mean they aren’t battling it out. Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook are still badmouthing each other six years after the divorce. Spite isn’t becoming on either party.

Why lament a bad relationship by continuing the hurt feelings? Channel this energy towards positive pursuits and bolstering yourself instead of beating your ex’s self-esteem down. Beware of dating anyone who only has negative things to say about their former paramours. Vengeful behavior isn’t often a fluke, and since statistically your relationship isn’t going to work out, you don’t want to end up on the receiving end.