“My Boyfriend Is More Into Sports Than He’s Into Me. What Should I Do?”by Jonathan Alpert on January 07, 2013
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“My boyfriend spends way too much time watching football and other sports on television. Matter of fact, he spends more time with that than he does with me. I’m just not into sports despite his attempts to get me into it. Further, he shows no interest in my hobbies. Where’s this relationship headed? What should I do?”
If there’s no change, then your relationship is likely headed for a split. This lifestyle issue is way too common and can break up a couple. It’s probably one of the top 10 reasons why couples come to see me for counseling. The good news: it’s fixable.
First, does your boyfriend know how you feel? Your withdrawal might be misinterpreted. Often people assume their partner knows how they feel. He isn’t a mind reader so if you haven’t expressed how you feel, then do so. Speak in a positive way. For example, you might say something like this: “I really cherish our time together and want to discuss with you ways for us to find balance between our personal interests and those as a couple.”
Have a discussion with him about what is an appropriate amount of time to spend watching sports. He has his definition and you have yours. It isn’t fair for him to part with his hobby just as you shouldn’t part with yours. What is needed, though, is a compromise. Find a happy medium.
Designate a time to participate in your respective hobbies. For example, if he watches football on Sunday afternoons then that’s a good time for you to do things with your friends or participate in one of your favorite activities.
It’s crucial that you spend time together so plan a date night. This should be a day when neither of you has other commitments. Have this plan in place so you can look forward to it.
Finally, you may want to consider attending a live game as it is usually far more exciting than watching one on television. It might help to give you a new appreciation for the game.
Jonathan Alpert is a Manhattan psychotherapist and author. He appears on national TV commenting on sex and relationship issues as well as lifestyle, mental health, and hot-button issues. Get more of Jonathan’s great advice in his new book, Be Fearless: Change Your Life in 28 Days.