How to Have the ‘Define the Relationship’ Talk—Minus the Awkwardnessby Cosmopolitan on May 16, 2013
It’s hard to bring up, but you need to set the record straight because guys can get weird about commitment. “When it seems like time to define your couple status, men often freak and wonder if there’s someone better or if they want to give up their carefree single-guy role,” explains relationship expert Harlan Cohen, author of Getting Naked. You deserve to know if your guy’s going to waste your time. Here’s your three-step plan.
1. Choose the Right Time
Unfortunately, there isn’t a magic formula that determines when you should have the talk. But generally speaking, it’s go time when you have your first “You’re killin’ me, Smalls” moment—i.e., you get a sense that you two may not be on the same page, and the where-are-we suspense is nagging at you so freaking badly that it’s all you can think about.
2. Choose the Right Place
Bring it up during an active moment, like when you’re walking in the park or making dinner together—that way, the question isn’t the center of the universe, which eases the intensity. FYI, fancy dinners out are a terrible idea—the formality adds pressure, and if the talk doesn’t go well, you’ll both want to leave, but you’ll still have to deal with the bill. Pillow talk also isn’t ideal. If he says he doesn’t want to be your BF, you’ll feel extra vulnerable since you’re naked and just did intimate things—so it’s best to do it fully clothed.
To find out more tips on how to make the “relationship” talk less awkward, visit Cosmopolitan!