How to Resolve the Government Shut Down with Dating Adviceby Aly Walansky on October 02, 2013
The biggest drama in the world right now isn’t personal, but political. Thanks to a total standstill in Washington, President Obama and Congress are fighting like a drunk couple on the sidewalk in front of a bar at 3 a.m. In fact, there are a lot of parallels between the government shutdown and our own dating dramas!
President Obama and Congress seem further apart than ever, we worry how they will end the polarization and find common ground. What do we do when we are having a huge fight with someone we’re in a long-term relationship with? Dating advice, of course. Here are some tips from dating experts that might get this whole blowup back on track.
Don’t Play Hard to Get
Congress and President Obama have been dodging each other’s signals like Carrie and Big circa Sex and the City season three. Maybe this is the wrong tactic. “One guy chased me for several years. I kept rejecting him over and over again,” says Suzie the Single Dating Diva. “Finally, I decided I would go out with him…The evening ended with a kiss and a promise to see each other again. We spoke sparingly over the next week and then he stopped chasing. He lost interest. Why? Because he loved the chase, once he caught his prey he lost interest.” Maybe it’s time for Congress to finally give into Obama and let him have his way with them. Then he’ll stop fighting and maybe we’ll get some real legislation passed in this great nation of ours.
Playing the Blame Game Never Works
The President blames the shutdown on Congressional “ransom” and they’re saying that Obama won’t compromise on his health care plan. Maybe it’s time to stop worrying about who started this and just get it solved. “Blaming reduces intimacy,” says Dr. Tom Jordan, a clinical psychologist and owner of the Love-Life Learning Center. “It’s obviously difficult to get close to someone or to maintain a close relationship when they have their arm outstretched with an accusing finger.” Who does that sound like? Both sides!
Try to Avoid the Trash Talk
One minute, the President is mixing and mingling with Congress and the next they’re hurling insults at each other. Everyone has ears! “The president has not acted like an adult,” says U.S. Rep. Chris Smith, a South Jersey Republican. That’s not the way to make nice. “Everyone deserves support from their friends and it’s perfectly normal for him to want to talk it out with someone else,” says New York couples therapist Rachel Sussman, she urges to show consideration when venting – this is someone you hope to get back together with and what you say may get back to them.
Keep the Lines of Communication Open
When you going through a breakup, the part that drives you crazy is suddenly not hearing from someone who used to text you twenty times a day. “We often find ourselves going back and forth trying to take longer to reply to messages than the person we’re talking to. This fits into the whole idea of playing hard to get and we feel like it puts us in a position of power,” says matchmaker Matthew Hussey. Boehner and Obama may feel a lot like this at the moment. Even though they are on a “break,” (like Ross and Rachel but with disastrous consequences) it’s important to show the other you still care, and are still thinking about them and want to find a way to work things out. Drop them an email, suggest a meeting, call a press conference. All is not lost!
Avoid the Drunk Dial
Congressmen were spotted drinking during the lead up to the shutdown. We should all know that nothing constructive happens in a relationship when everyone’s a bit loopy. “When you’re five pints down and your logic is telling you to text or call someone — just remember this is the same logic that in the past has made you be sick in a bin, steal a trolley, and order a kebab with raw onions. That logic can have a bit of a re-think in the morning,” says Dolly Alderton, AskMen.com dating columnist, who is obviously British. But if this works for Parliament, it will work for us too.
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