In Case You Weren’t Aware, Today Is Steak and BJ Day

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Hello, gents.┬áDon’t you hate mushy Valentine’s Day and all the stupid crap you have to do? Flowers? Who cares! Romantic Dinners? Borrrrringggggg. Chocolate? Why are girls so obsessed with chocolate? You don’t deserve this, you really don’t. How can us lovey-dovey-obsessed females make it up to you?

How about a day where all we do is blow you and feed you steak? You think I’m kidding?

Today is Steak and BJ Day, a backlash to Valentine’s Day. Because boo-hoo, the poor guys had to buy us a card or put on a nice pair of pants for a few hours. I feel so bad for them.

So happy Steak and BJ day, ladies and gents! It’s a totally fair exchange. Buying someone a card is just as much work as giving a good BJ, right?

Wow. That sounds like something someone would say who has never given a BJ.

If you don’t feel like celebrating that, maybe celebrate Pi Day or something. That’s today, too. (And we have your Pi Day pickup lines right here.)

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