Advice

Is This Weird: I Think He Might Be A Chubby-Chaser?

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pinterestIn Tell Me If You Think This Is Weird , we take your most unusual dating queries and help you figure out how weird it is (and how worried you should be). Today, Elizabeth from NYC has a chubby chaser on her hands.

“So, girl, tell me if you think this is weird: I went out with this guy maybe 3 years ago for a couple of months. He was very charming, smart and good-looking. After a while, we started hanging out less and less and I asked him what was up- he told me that I was “too skinny for him.” I thought he was being sarcastic because while I’m not fat, I certainly could lose a little weight. I was honestly aghast…when I talked to him more it became clear that he was a chubby chaser. Years later we still talk every once in a while and he’ll ask me if I’ve gotten fat? He wants to hear serious fat talk about how much weight I have gained and if I am trying to lose weight…Is this weird? Should I stop talking to him? I’ve told him point blank that I will always be working to stay fit and not fat. I kind of think he is a great catch, and if he just came to his senses and accepted me as I am we could actually be great.”

Is this weird? Having a physical preference for his romantic partners isn’t weird, no. Continuing to ask you about your weight, and even suggesting, through his inquiries, that you should alter your physical appearance is not just weird, it’s rude. Asking a woman — asking anyone about specifics re: their body size, shape, height, or appearance is unconscionable. Think about it this way: if this guy told you he preferred skinny women, would you still put up with his questions about your weight and diet regime?

But, here’s the bottom line: he’s not attracted to you. The reason he’s not attracted to you is unimportant. Unless you’re willing to gain weight to keep his interest (and why should you be?), then don’t waste any more time answering invasive questions from this guy, and focus on finding someone who likes you for the weight and size at which you feel comfortable.

Got something you think might be weird? Email thedatereport@howaboutwe.com!

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