Oh, so you’re dating someone long-distance? Wait, he lives halfway around the world?? What are you thinking??? There’s no end to the questions that your friends, family, and acquaintances will start firing at you as soon as you tell them you’re in a long distance relationship (LDR).
The truth is, most people can’t fathom why you’d willingly participate in a relationship that requires you to trade a Friday night dinner date for a Friday night Skype date. Not to worry though — you aren’t alone. According to Statistic Brain, 14 million people defined their relationships as long distance in 2012.
Clearly, LDRs are becoming more common. Still, you’d better get prepped to answer a boatload of queries one you announce you’re in one. Here are 5 questions you’ll definitely get asked (and how to answer them):
1. Why would you ever get into a long distance relationship?
Your friends may never understand your decision to get into a LDR, which is why this question will probably pepper every conversation they ever have with you. The answer is usually pretty simple: you’re in a long distance relationship because you are in love, and he/she happens to live in another city. Long distance dating isn’t for the faint of heart, so if love weren’t on the table, you likely wouldn’t bother with all those flyer miles and hotel bills. Duh.
2. When are you going to move to the same place?
Once your friends discover you’re in a LDR, they want to know when you plan to move to the same city, or better yet, run off in a VW van. Honestly, this topic may or may not be a discussion you and your main squeeze are having. Not every LDR will prompt an immediate relocation. Address the question by being honest. Let them know where you’re at with your partner and that you’re in a happy and healthy place, despite the distance. Don’t feel pressured to blurt out a moving date just to get them off your back. If you don’t have plans to move right away, just say so.
3. Aren’t you afraid your boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating?
Listen, any partner could cheat; it doesn’t matter if they’re a thousand miles away or in the same city. Distance has nothing to do with cheating. Long distance requires a higher level of trust, sure — but that just means that you and your partner have to ramp up communication and honesty. Which are great things to have in any relationship.
4. How often do you have sex?
We’re guessing you’ve never asked your friends in relationships to dish on the quantity of their sex life. Yet, if you’re in a LDR, people feel compelled to ask…how much action are you getting? They’re genuinely interested in the physical details, and how you keep it spicy (and alive) across the miles. Don’t feel pressure to answer every question. If you do decide to answer, keep it simple and avoid details. For example: We keep it fun just like any other couple. Unfortunately, your attempt at vagueness will probably lead to the following question…
5. So do you guys have Skype or phone sex?
Again, it’s not. Anyone’s. Business what you do in the bedroom. One tactic, so you don’t have to answer but don’t sound rude, is diversion — ask them: Have you tried phone sex? What do you like to do in the bedroom? Most likely they’ll clam up and move on to less embarrassing topics. Like sex toys.