There comes a time in every woman’s life when you know a run in with your boyfriend’s ex is going to happen. Weddings, college reunions, high school friends’ birthday parties: the woman your man once loved is out there, and you’re gonna have to meet her. But this doesn’t have to be the completely dreadful experience you’re imagining! Here are some simple rules to make this run-in as not traumatizing as humanly possible.
Don’t ask your boyfriend the details of their break up right before meeting her. It’s the same reason you should never watch Food, Inc: ignorance is bliss.
Do mentally prepare. Come up with a few stock questions and then an exit strategy so that the conversation can be short, friendly, and short. A lot of famous athletes utilize a technique called visualization – they visualize themselves scoring a touchdown or slamming a dunk. I don’t watch sports, but you get my point. Visualize a nice, calm conversation where you are radiant, confident, and better than her. Not that it’s about being better than her but…we all know it’s kind of about that.
Don’t be drunk. One little drink to take the edge off, sure, but you know you can’t control your mind or your mouth when you’re drunk. And you don’t really want to reveal that you don’t appreciate the fact that she wore lacy negligees all the time, thus giving your boyfriend unrealistic expectations that you would do the same and that it took a long time to slowly wear him out of that. You’re an old T-shirt to bed kinda gal, always have been, always will be, and you won’t apologize for it, dammit!
See what I mean? You don’t want to say that kinda shit to her.
Do remember that this is just as stressful for him as it is for you. Which means you’re both on the same page about this: it’s awkward. Therefore it should not be the cause of a fight or tension between the two of you. It’s you and him against the world, baby! You must unite against the destructive forces of his old flame and rise above!
Don’t imagine her having sex with your boyfriend. Just don’t do it!
Do point out to him how coolly you handled it when it’s all over and how that makes you very deserving of flowers/a stiff drink/sour gummy worms/sex as a reward.