Editor’s note: You might remember Serria Tawan from her stint as Playboy’s Miss November 2002. Now the former playmate is in her 30s, recently married, and ready to dish out some love advice. She says, “I want you to win and I’m going to give it to you straight.” Read more from her at serriasays.com, and check back here each Friday for her latest Dating Advice from a Playboy Bunny post.
I’ll just say this up front: I’m pretty shallow. I know myself, and recognize this as a truth of Serria. I appreciate kindness, generosity, integrity and all that other good stuff — but I love to gaze at a person when they look their best. Doesn’t matter the age, shape, dress style, or anything else: I always give an A for effort.
I have watched other date coaches and they usually never discuss beauty — but if they do, they give a makeover that’s so severe and extreme that’s it’s like waiting for Cinderella to turn back to the house servant. Come on, who can keep that look up? What I have is the ability to see the way to make a person more “commercial” — that is, make them appeal to their biggest market.
For example, I was at a meeting last week, and this guy came in. His skin was olive and he had full thick scattered hair on his head, face, and eyebrow area. He was thin and tall, good symmetrical features, but his suit was too big and a mix between mustard yellow and tan. The color washed him out completely. I couldn’t even hear him speak because I wanted to make him over so badly. I would have put him in a tight Euro-fitting suit; he has that thin frame that looks amazing in that style. I would have grown out his hair so that it’s a little longer on the top; curly or straight would have looked fine. I liked his hair — it just needed to look more planned instead of all “Accidental Tourist.” Everything that I’m saying is very easy to maintain and it would have given him a “look.” I think of unused beauty in the same way that I think Katy Perry in an oversized shirt is a waste of good boob tissue. If you’ve got it, appreciate it, because it will not last forever.
Another example: recently, I went out for a drink with a colleague, a former male model now in the commercial finance world. He went on and on about how he really likes smart women and how is girlfriend is getting a Masters. I was excited for him; I wanted to see a photo. He searched through his phone and landed on a photo. She was a solid 6. Great facial features and nice thin healthy frame, but no effort towards her beauty at all. He showed several photos and she looked the same in each. And guess what this former model that likes smart girls kindly requested at the end of our meeting? He wanted to meet some of my pretty friends since “he’s not married.” I told him I’d love to make introductions, once he’s single. Don’t underestimate the power of Pretty. Smart is great too, but you need both.
When someone sends me an email for coaching services, I can tell the problem usually pretty early on by the answer to this question: “Do you have a problem getting, or keeping, a date?” If there is a problem in the “getting” department, it is usually because of looks or demeanor. Here are some of the most common look-mishaps I see when it comes to dating.
Once we take these steps I ask for an “After” photo and I might make more adjustments, but usually they are all set and the attention increases. Then we change their dating websites to reflect the real person. Be careful of photos where you look too pretty, thin and glamourous, if that is not how you look on a daily basis. Don’t lie about your appearances! You aren’t going to win him over with your personality when you pull a “switcheroo.” At best he will say, she was nice but I won’t date her again. Now you wasted your night!
If you need help, contact me.
The Bunny Tail (The bottom line, what you should do next):
“Beauty” just for the sake of beauty is boring. My favorite quote sums it up.
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone.