You’re familiar with Dinner With Cupid, the Boston Globe feature in which they set up two people on a blind date and pay for the tab? This weekend’s edition is one for the record books, in terms of awkwardness.
Adnan, 26 a comedian, and Stephanie, 24, a grad student, were doomed from the moment they laid eyes on each other — or rather, the moment she laid eyes on him.
STEPHANIE I knew who [my date] was as soon as he walked in, because it was as though someone had taken all of my extremely superficial deal breakers (guys who have goatees [or are] wearing any sort of non-baseball hat not on Halloween) and told him to dress accordingly.
Things didn’t get much better after that:
ADNAN She was a PhD student. [When] I asked about her research, she replied in a manner which implied that I would be bored by what she was going to say and was just asking to be polite.
STEPHANIE There were points where I honestly thought there was a hidden camera somewhere and someone was watching me to see how long I could keep it together.
The worst part about this date is that none of it is actually that bad — no one was rude, or psychologically damaged, nothing horrible happened during the dinner, they didn’t show up only to realize they were exes, or distant relations, or anything like that. But still, it seems like it was an excruciatingly awkward experience, mostly because of — here’s where I get preachy — her attitude.
So maybe she wasn’t attracted to him, and was never going to be. And maybe this was just one shitty date in a long line of off-the-mark dates, on a night when she really would have rather just stayed home.
But writing him off from the second she saw him colored the whole evening, changing it from a date that would have been tepid at worst, to one that’s difficult to even read about second-hand. And worst of all, by making her mind up so quickly, so resolutely, she gave him no opportunity to surprise her, to delight her, to prove that the guy she wasn’t that into at first sight might actually be not so bad after all.
Take a break from dating, Stephanie, build up your immunity, and then try again. Once more, and this time, with a little bit of feeling.