Advice

What To Text When You’re Getting The Fade Out

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If a picture is worth 1,000 words, a well-constructed emoji stream is worth a whole novel. But how can you be sure you’re speaking the international language of Japanese pictographs fluently? We’re here to guide you, with Emoji Prescription.

Ending relationships is hard, but having them just fade ever so slowly into the distance is harder. To stop your almost-former paramour’s long goodbye off midstream, text them these cutting emoji.

1. Wave goodbye/ peace-out.

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That’s the cool cucumber move with the calm meditative, neutral face that says, “Yeah I get it, no sweat.” Save face with faces.

2. “I fart in your general direction.”

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If you want to send them a mature but spiteful hint that you’re onto their game and you don’t like it.

3. “Be strong; don’t be a scaredy cat, just say goodbye and stop calling/texting me.”

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Call them out on the weakness that causes people to give the fade out in the first place!

4. “Fuck you, please just let me know you’re not interested and stop wasting my time by responding to my texts just to be nice. ”

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This is similar to option three but for a thicker skinned candidate. This way you explain exactly why the fade out is a weak move.

5. “I mean, I’m not trying to wife you up either… can’t we just…?”

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She’s not dreaming of a ring. So why not?

6.  “The only reason I’m trying to contact you is because you gave me crabs, now please answer your phone.”

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The angry face acknowledges its many attempts at contact. The speech bubble and pointer are “tell you” and the pants and ants are crabs. Praying hands for “please respond!” The last face would be an appropriate response.

7. “The end, sucker.”

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Come out on top with a cryptic and slightly irreverent goodbye.