Fashionistas: they’re those gorgeous women who, for reasons completely incomprehensible to straight men, sometimes wear absolutely ridiculous shit. But their sartorial choices shouldn’t deter you gentlemen from trying to make a love connection—you just need the right approach. To help, we’ve put together a list of pickup lines that will make you seem irresistibly fashion-savvy (in a “Hey, this cute guy is funny and he likes my weird shoes” way, not a “What a fabulous new gay best friend he’ll make!” way).
And remember, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if she’s wearing the ugliest outfit in the history of the world—because if everything goes well, you won’t be looking at her clothes. (That was innuendo. We were implying you guys would be naked. Because you’d be doin’ it. Did no one get that? God, our subtle wit can be such a curse).
1. Wow, those drop-crotch pants make your nether-regions look slammin’.
2. Your shoes are like tiny, adorable monsters that I’m only slightly afraid of.
3. Whoever said that chunky-knit sweater coats were ugly is both a fool and a liar.
4. I can’t lie: you are KILLIN’ it in those high-waisted shorts.
5. I’ve got one word for your overalls: DAYUM, GURL.
6. That furry vest lends you the air of a hot, huggable baby bear.
7. Your humongous old-man glasses don’t make you look at all like my senile grandfather!
8. That socks+high heels combo is pretty and practical, amIright? Great, now let me buy you a drink and try to convince you that I’m not gay.
9. You’re like the sexiest suspender salesman the 1940s have ever seen.
10. You have a really, really pretty face.
This post was inspired by the awesome and hilarious Leandra Medine, aka the original Man Repeller.