1. You will meet a tall, dark straphanger.
2. Seeing as you just accidentally felt up my butt anyway, wanna take things to the next level?
3. The sign says if you see something, say something, so here goes: baby, I’m seeing stars.
4. WATCH THE GAP where my heart used to be before you STOLE IT, you thief of the heart.
5. Is heaven missing an angel? Or is the MTA missing a very good-looking track work engineer?
6. Remain alert and keep your belongings in sight at all times. I’m telling you this because I just stole a look at you, and now I want to make off with the entire package.
7. Since I met you, I’m on cloud 9th street F train.
8. Hey, would you like to not get a meal in the subway some time?
9. You rock my world. Or we just derailed.
10. This is a message from the New York City Police Department: I’d like to stop and frisk with you.
11. Due to a signal malfunction, I’m not sure if you’re interested?
12. I know I’m not supposed to panhandle, but I beg you to give me your number.
13. No track work needed here, you’re in fine shape, sunshine.
14. What say we get together and Purell the shit out of our hands?
15. I may have been waiting for this train for 20 goddamn minutes, but I’ve been waiting for a girl like you my whole life.
16. You make me want to Express myself.
17. That piss smell definitely isn’t coming from you. Wanna get pie, cutie?
18. I am going to ask you out in … two … minutes.
19. Girl, I understand if you want to take things slow – we can change to the local.
20. Let’s get out of here.
Janet Manley believes that if you want to be loved, first you must love your shelves. That’s code for boobs. Follow her on Twitter @janetmanley