Attraction

10 Funniest Wedding Pickup Lines You Will Ever Hear

Pin it

Some people go to weddings to celebrate the blessed union of two close friends. Those people are morons. There’s only one good reason to go to a wedding, and that’s to grind up on a single hottie when the mediocre DJ starts playing Journey. Here are 10 pickup lines to whip out the next time you’re in the nuptial zone.

Plus: Behold The Best Wedding Invitation Of All Time Ever, Period.

1. “Hey, Lisa’s grandma. I like the way you shake that thang.”

2. “I just want to dunk your head under that chocolate fountain and go to town on your face.”

3. “You sure did a nice job of catching that bouquet. Let’s go back to my hotel room and test your other reflexes.”

4. “That tux looks really good on you. It would also look really good on my floor. Or nicely folded and hung in my closet, if you’re a neat freak.”

Plus: 8 Bridesmaids Pictures That Will Make You Want To Get Married Just For The Bridesmaids

5. “What say you and me hit the dance floor and show those funky chickens how it’s done?”

6. “I’d love to buy you a drink from the open bar.”

7. “I know you’re in the middle of the father-daughter dance, but I’m going to go ahead and cut in. Get up on me, bride-woman.”

8. “To be honest, I kind of wanted to nail that other bridesmaid, but you seem to have much lower standards.”

Plus: 18 Things I Will Demand When I’m A Bridezilla

9. “I’ve got a bottle of champagne and the keys to an empty limo with an incredibly spacious backseat.”

10. “Hey DJ, how about you quit playing shitty Thriller remixes and come make out with me?”

facebook_stalk_modern_dating