Being Single

16 Excellent Retorts to the Question, “Why Are You Still Single?”

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I’m constantly amazed at how often people actually ask me why I’m single (shouldn’t this be a verboten question, like asking someone their age or how much they make?), and I can never come up with a great answer. So I polled friends and HowAboutWe readers for the retorts they use (or used to use when they were single) when faced with this incredibly annoying question.

Here are some of the funniest answers…

Related: 15 Perks to Being Single and Dating

1.”Why are you still married?” –@JoeyMPrice

2. “So I can stretch out in my own bed.” kdbebe

3.”When my grandma asked me this this weekend, it took everything from saying ‘so how come you are still so old?'” –@BBWerner

4. “I didn’t realize there was a cut-off age.” – @C_rnewman

Related: Trust Me, Guys, This Is Not Why You’re Single

5. “Because I’m smart?” -Jame’ DeLyn McCraw

6. “Because I’m impatient and need multiple partners. (Honesty.)” – Craig Monahan

7. “HOW? HOW? What a good, insightful question! Are you also wondering why a gal like me is making such quick work of this drink?” –Meredith of LadyScouts

8.  “Because I’ve never tried that hard not to be.” –Katie Heaney

9. “Because I’m incredibly indecisive.” –@oh_nanalish

Related: The Top 5 Times It’s Good to Be Single

10.  “You’re asking me out? That’s so sweet but i don’t think we’d be a fit.” -Anonymous

11. “An ongoing series of poor choices made by me and/or the people I’ve dated.” –@JoeBerkowitz

12. “Too pretty.” –MeghanAgain

13. “Because fantasy sports take too much time.” –@DavidIsrael

14.”Because I’m in the middle of moving from right person to other right person, bumping into people to f*ck/have a good time with who are lacking one or two fundamental things (or find me lacking one or two fundamental things) but are attractive enough to sleep with.” –@Ryan_Dowler

Related: Seriously Guys, Are We All Being Too Picky About Our Love Lives?

15. “I was born that way?” –Sean Calder

16. “Because I’m an excellent masturbator.” –@WeeOrb

Ha! Good ones, guys.

Got a good retort? Tweet it @chiaraatik, and I’ll retweet!