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Pick Up a Nerd Without Saying a Word: 12 Books to Attract 12 Types of Guys

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One time, I was carrying around Kafka’s “The Trial” and about three guys either winked at me (which was actually kind of alarming and creepy), asked about what I was reading, or said something book-nerdy but adorable about my choice.

Clearly, carrying around a book is a good way to meet a guy — bonus points if you’re actually reading it. Here are some awesome, nerd-tastic ways to score dudes without dealing with embarrassing pick-up lines, or even saying a word. It’ll be a great story for the grandkids.

Related: What Your Bookshelf Says About You to a Date

Type of guy: Jock
Book: It’s Not About the Bike by Lance Armstrong
You say: “I can’t believe there was a time in my life I once thought it was actually
about the bike.”
Your date: Riding your bikes to the park to eat pretzels and critique the outfits of
passers-by.

Type of guy: Philosopher
Book: The Republic by Plato
You say: “Do you have a Greek dictionary on you? I’m getting my Greek and
Cyrillic words mixed up.”
Your date: Sitting under a tree and pondering something. Bring a pencil to twirl in your hair.

Related: 13 Dr. Seuss Pickup Lines for Your Potential Sneech Muffin

Type of guy: The Beatnik
Book: Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac
You say: “I’m giving all of my stuff away, because I’ve found there’s more to life
than material possessions. Do you want this book?”
Your date: “Lying down by the side of the trail and remembering it all.”

Type of guy: The Outdoorsy Type
Book: Walden by Henry David Thoreau
You say: “You don’t happen to have an extra sleeping bag, would you? I’m going
to need it. When I’m camping. In my desolate cabin. For an entire year.”
Your date: Going on separate sabbaticals of isolation, then writing to each other
about your experiences with ink made of rabbit blood, on paper made of wood
shavings.

Related: 10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Date a Writer

Type of guy: The War Buff
Book: The Art of Warfare by Sun Tzu
You say: “You know what would have really helped out Mighty Mouse? Knowing
his enemies and knowing himself, so he would fight without danger in battles.
You know, like it says inThe Art of Warfare by Sun Tzu.”
Your date: A game of Risk. Loser buys dinner.

Type of guy: The Politician
Book: Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes
You say: “Oh sure, I always keep this book with me. You never know when
you’re going to need some tips on forming a new government on the fly.”
Your Date: Two words: Medieval. Times.

Type of guy: The Sk8er Boi
Book: A copy of Thrasher magazine
You say: “Ollie Ollie Oxen Free!”
Your date: Doing lots of ollies. Isn’t that what sk8er bois do?

Related: Dealbreaker: The Bad Speller

Type of guy: Tech Geek.
Book: The Big Book of Apple Hacks. On your iPad.
You say: “I’d like to see the way your hair shines by the light of my computer
monitor.”
Your date: Jailbreaking your iPad.

Type of guy: Science Geek.
Book: Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History in Time.
You say: “You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness
everywhere.”
Your date: Discover a Supernova together and give it a cute pet name.
Suggestion: Keyboard Cat.

Type of guy: The Poli-Sci Major.
Book: Machiavelli’s The Prince.
You say: “To quote The Prince, ‘It’s better to be impulsive than cautious; fortune
is female and if you want to stay on top of her you have to slap and thrust.’” Wait,
what? Maybe you should change the subject.
Your date: Spaghetti. The dude was Italian, right?

Type of guy: Theater Buff.
Book: Wicked.
You say: “You’re attracted to girls, right? No offense, just checking.”
Your date: Dramatic monologue-off of scenes from My Dinner With Andre.

Type of guy: Dog Lover.
Book: Call of the Wild.
You say: “Yukon, Ho! …Um, that was nothing.”
Your date: Attend a dog fight! Totally kidding. How about a nice game of fetch?

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