There are many things we can learn from classic literature. Our favorite books teach us lessons, deep lessons, lessons about the human condition and the human heart. Also, how to pick up attractive people at bars, clubs, the grocery store. Here’s how to put your library to good use.
1. I’d never say “Farewell” to those Arms.
2. I’d love you in all the times, including* the Time of Cholera. (*but not limited to)
3. My Heart was a Lonely Hunter ’til I met you, girl.
4. Portnoy’s Complaint was that he didn’t get to see your fine behind.
5. You may not be Miss Jean Brodie, but I can tell you’re in your Prime.
6. Girl, you raise my temperature way past Fahrenheit 451.
7. Can I have The Way of All Flesh with you?
8. I’m no Jane, but I’d Eyre on the side of saying I think you’re beautiful.
9. I’d like to end your Age of Innocence.
10. Tender is the Night you let me take you home.
11. As I Lay Dying…my biggest regret was not telling you how beautiful you are.
12. Girl, we’re the Beautiful and the Damned, you’re beautiful and I’ll be damned if you don’t let me buy you a drink.
13. If you give me yo’ number, I’ll live up to all your Great Expectations.
14. Can you help me? I’m in Search of all the Lost Time I spent checkin’ you out.
15. Girl, it would be both a Crime and a Punishment if you don’t let me take you out.
16. I’d like to Catch 22 of you.
17. Girl, you’re my great white whale, and you make my dick be mo’.
18. I’d Revisit your Brideshead anytime.
19. I’d never be Misérables waking up to your face.
20. You’re the Lord of my Flies, and you can unzip them anytime.
21. If it was 1984, and I was Big Brother, I’d only watch you.
22. Hey lady, there’s nothing Second about your Sex.
23. I wanna do Wild Things wherever you Are.
24. I’d spend Tuesdays with Morrie, but baby, I’d spend every day with you.
25. Have you lost weight? Your Lightness is Unbearable, and it’s doing something to my Being.
26. The Sun isn’t the only thing around here that Also Rises.
27. Hey girl, can you say that one more time? I can’t hear you over the Sound and the Fury of my beating heart.
28. My love for you is Infinite, and I do not Jest.
29. I know For Whom the Bell Tolls, so why don’t you call me sometime?
30. Are you Five People? ’Cause I just met you, and I’m in Heaven.
31. Hey girl, don’t be The Stranger.
32. I want to take your body to Wuthering Heights.
33. We Need to Talk About Kevin. I’m Kevin, can I buy you a drink?
34. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues if you won’t give them your number, boy.
35. If you’d let me, baby, I’d Middlemarch you right on down the aisle.