How to Dump Someone Without Being a Jerkby Anna Pulley at RedEye Chicago on November 29, 2012
“I’ve been dating a girl for about six months now, and we don’t see each other often, but even so, it’s become obvious to me that we’re not compatible. I don’t think she’ll be torn up about this or anything, but how can I break up with her in a way that lets her down gently? Any tips are appreciated.” –Delicate Dumper
Breakups are the worst–the crying, the disappointment, having to re-monogram of all your towels, etc. However, I’m glad that, even though things didn’t work out as planned, you are still taking this gal’s feelings into consideration. This is especially important around the holidays, when being single is worse than a cheese log from Gary Busey. Here are some tips to help you soldier through.
Do it at their place
This is courteous for a few reasons. One, it’s a safe space where they feel comfortable. Two, it saves them the horrible experience of crying on the bus. Three, it frees you to leave should things get out of hand, which is much less awkward than trying to forcibly remove someone from your own space. I’ve heard compelling arguments in favor of dumping someone in a neutral place, like a park or bar, the prevailing theory being that the dumpee is less likely to “make a scene.” So, I guess if you’re dating someone psychotic, that’s not a bad plan. Just don’t make it a place they frequent often or that has symbolic resonance, because then that place will forever be tarnished.