Breakups

This ‘Breakup Protection’ Service Will Secretly Store Your Stuff When You Move In Together

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pug in a box

UK storage facility LOVESPACE has just launched a new service that will store your duplicates when you move in with someone so if the relationship goes south, you’ll still have your toaster. Which, as I understood it, is the whole point of storage units — certainly it was the whole point of my storage unit — but whatever. Make it explicit, you know?

According to the company, the “break-up protection service” is designed explicitly for “commitment-phobes,” since — apparently unlike a regular storage unit? — they promise to store your stuff in secret. “Openly keeping hold of things that you identify with your single life isn’t exactly a recipe for happily ever after,” they point out. On some level, that’s true: “I am keeping my mattress and also my dishes and also my vacuum cleaner just in case because do you know how much a vacuum cleaner costs these days?” is probably not the height of romance. The idea of a little secret insurance makes sense. You can’t necessarily protect your heart, but you can absolutely protect the $400 it would cost for you to get a new mattress.

Eventually, I got rid of my storage unit, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it was, for me, a huge waste of money. My mattress was not $400. Also, it once had bedbugs. If the total value of your belongings is significantly less than what you’re paying to store those belongings, and also most of those belongings are electric blue (I don’t know, it was a phase) and have zero resale value (bedbugs), then it’s probably not worth the monthly fees.

Since LOVESPACE is offering the service free for the first year for a limited time, though, and since most people did not go through a similar electric blue/bedbugs phase, it’s not necessarily a terrible idea if you happen to be in their area. Nobody should give up a perfectly good toaster until they’re absolutely ready.

[h/t Daily Mail]