The Most Demanding Personal Ad Everby Lauren Passell on August 27, 2012
It’s good to be picky, but perhaps Malik’s ad is evidence that being too particular will drive everyone away. I mean, look — nobody tore off any of the tabs.
When I read this, though, I must admit I was impressed with the eloquence of the writer, which I had presumed by his demands to be non-existent. Sure, he misspells “marriage”, “curvaceous” and “occasion”, but he does spell Apache, daisy-duke shorts, and promiscuous right.
A Buzzfeed reader alerted the internet to this second note, which she saw two years ago. So either Malik’s first love ad was unsuccessful, or the love he found was unsuccessful. I would advice Malik to take a few of his least-vital requirements off this list (does she have to have long red har and love to wear spiked 5-6″ heels?) And perhaps say a little less about himself. I don’t need to know that Malik loves Ferraris, tigers, and works as a sorter/bagger at the United Parcel Service all at once — I want to learn those things over a romantic candlelight dinner of Chinese food, listening to Reggaeton. And if that note is till unsuccesful — if all tabs remain hanging months later, he should take off a few more. Until he finds himself completely open to dating someone named Malik, pronounced Mölêk.