Communication

Don’t Hate Me, But — I’ve Never Been On a Bad Date

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It occurred to me while reading Real Talk: Real Men Share THEIR Worst Dates on the Gloss that I didn’t really have anything to contribute to the conversation. I’ve never been on a bad date.

I’ve been on some so-so dates. Dates that were kinda boring. Dates in which she was an hour late. Dates in which the place that I chose for us to meet was now a vacant lot. Dates in which people (not me) threw up on their shoes. They haven’t all been fireworks and butterflies, yeah. But a disaster date? A nightmare? Not once. I can’t think of a date that I’ve been on that wasn’t somehow redeemed. (I had a stellar time with hour-late-girl, once she finally showed up, and her tardiness gave me time to draw and get a few beers in me. Not to mention it took ALL of the pressure off me.)

Maybe I’m just weirdly laid-back. I wonder what it would actually take for me to declare a date a disaster. Ending up in the E.R. would suck, but we might really bond, you know. Rude to the waiter? Maybe we’d have a really honest, interesting conversation about what made her behave that way. We could end up getting deep into her repressed upbringing and really get to know each other. I guess I could find out she had a price on her head and mob hitmen would come after us at Dave and Buster’s and we’d have to hurl Skee-balls at them to escape and– wait, that would be awesome!!

Look. I can’t say for sure that the other person on the date would always say the same thing, but I have always at least had a pretty good time on a first date.

Of course, I’m probably jinxing myself and my next date will be with a homophobic, verbally abusive IRS agent who looks nothing like her picture and just happened to forget her wallet.