1. DO NOT HIT “ACCEPT” YET. Do not hit “accept” yet. Not until you’re ready. First Facebook Impressions are important: it just takes one embarrassing “Chiara Atik likes Cheetos on Sept. 23” to completely ruin your chances with someone.
2. Start With The Important Thing: Your Top 5 Pictures. He or she has already seen your profile picture, so no use wasting your time on that. Instead, cast a critical eye on the 5 pictures on the top of your profile. Are these the best possible 5 pictures of you in existence? Is it a good mix of contemplative “impromptu” solo shots, and pictures of you laughing gaily while surrounded by your copious friends? Are the pictures from a variety of different events and not just That One Party You Went To In May?
(If you’ve already activated Timeline, this step is even more important since only one tagged photo of you shows up at the top of your profile. Make it a good one!)
3. Scroll A Little Further. Look through, let’s say, the next 20 of your tagged photos. Here, you’re just scrolling to quickly detag anything potentially unflattering/those annoying pictures of like, a cornucopia that your high school friend’s mom tagged you and 100 people in with the caption “Happy Thanksgiving!”. After 20, it doesn’t really matter what you look like: anyone who’s still clicking is obviously into you.
4. Move On To The Wall. Make sure you haven’t “liked” any embarrassing articles lately. (Do not “like” this article, for example.)
5. What Do You Write on Your Friend’s Walls? If your own wall has “‘hahahahahhaha!’ on So&Sos Wall” 500 times, delete at least 80% of them. You don’t want to seem like you spend all of your time on Facebook, but you also want to make it clear you are receptive to Facebook Comments and Wall Posts, should your crush feel so inclined.
6. Click On “More Info”. Here’s a section of Facebook that maybe you haven’t looked at in a few years, but it’s important to check it out on the off-chance that your crush does, and finds something embarrassing.
For instance, while writing this post I clicked on my own “Facebook Info” and found that for some reason these are the only two TV shows listed under “Television”.
7. Okay, Now You Can Accept The Friend Request. Who cares if now your Facebook wall is not at all an accurate representation of your life? You look amazing in those pictures.
8. Be Careful Of The Next Thing You Post Bee-tee-dubs, the next thing you like, post, upload or tag on Facebook will likely show up in your crush’s Newsfeed, so by God you better make sure it’s the wittiest, smartest thing you’ll ever write. It’s no big deal, only your future life’s happiness.