Advice

Tell Me If You Think This Is Weird: I Hate Cuddling After Sex

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Are you weird about dating? We’re here to help you figure it out! Just email us a question and we’ll tell you, as honestly as we possibly can, whether or not we think (whatever it is) is weird. Today’s topic: Cuddling after sex.

Anna says:

In the world of dating, admitting that you hate cuddling is akin to saying you hate puppies. But it’s true: I really hate to cuddle. Even the word makes me cringe.

I dread the moment after sex, when the guy I’m with will inevitably wrap his limbs around my captive body, resting a good 60% of his body weight on me so that I can barely breathe, let alone consider escaping his vice-like grip.

Lovers are supposed to adore this intimate time after sex almost as much as the act itself, but it makes me feel suffocated and claustrophobic. I sleep best with a good 12 inches of distance between myself and my bedmate: I like to stretch without fear of rousing or kicking the other person; I like to inhale without taking accidental gulps of his hot, recycled breath.

When I tell a guy that I prefer to not lie entwined with him for hours on end, some are relieved and happily roll over to the opposite side of the bed, where we can maintain conversational, if not physical, intimacy. But others look at me with expressions of hurt and confusion, as if my rejection of their post-coital embrace makes them feel cheap.

Is it weird that I don’t mind sex, but I can’t stand the thought of a prolonged hug with a lover?

We say: Unanimously, we do not think this is weird. Maybe our tolerance for immediate post-sex cuddling is a little higher than yours, but overall, unless we’re completely in love (and even then!) we totally sleep better unencumbered.

What do you think? Is it inhuman to not love a good cuddle?