Advice

Tell Me If You Think This Is Weird: He Sent Flowers, But We Aren’t Really Dating

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We all have our quirks. But sometimes you’re not sure if your behavior is quirky-normal, quirky-cute, or just plain weird. We’re here to help — send us a question at thedatereport @ howaboutwe dot com and we’ll tell you, as honestly as we possibly can, whether or not we think (whatever it is) is weird. Today’s topic: unwanted romantic gestures.

Stephanie says:

There’s this guy that I made out with once — once! And he sent a bouquet of flowers to my office for my birthday. We aren’t dating! I’m not interested in him! I want to write back and be like “Thank you…please don’t ever do this again.” It’s WEIRD of him to send me flowers, right? Or am I weird for not appreciating it?

Ah yes, that’s the trouble with romantic gestures. We all dream of an admirer sending us flowers at work, or serenading us, or flying across the country to see us….but only if it’s someone we WANT or are interested in. A romantic gesture from someone we don’t like in that way just makes us feel awkward and guilty.

My question is…why is this guy sending you flowers if it’s so clear to you that there’s nothing going on between you guys? Are you perhaps, perhaps, guilty of not being completely honest with him?

Here’s what you do, Stephanie:

You say: Thank you for the flowers, “Steve”! That was very thoughtful, you’re a great friend.

But make it very clear to him that if he’s looking for something romantic, he’d best send his flowers to someone else.

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