This morning, barely awake on my morning commute, I noticed the words, “One Night Stand” hanging above my head. Being a writer of the sexual persuasion, I got closer for further inspection. We’re not actually at the point where we’re advertising for escort services on the F train, right? Right.
Turns out, it was just the latest Seamless ad, proposing a new term for the shitty food we hastily eat when we’re starving (and often forget the name of the restaurant where we got it and maybe what was on the menu, ahem.) Seamless is just one of the thousands of companies that have cornered the “sex sells” advertising market, peddling their product seductively, regardless if their product has nothing to do with the realm of sex or dating. Behold, the best sex and dating ad campaigns that are completely incongruous with the unsexy nature of their products. These are the Don Drapers of the new millennium.
Seamless is perhaps the biggest offender of the sex and dating advertisements, but they’re usually so apt, I kind of love them. We’ve come to rely on their quirky, erudite humor to get us through our monotonous train rides.
Nescafe Instant Coffee
Nescafe: misleading frenetic coffee drinkers everywhere.
The Met Opera
The Met is really, really trying to make opera happen.
“Smart meets Sexy” was a huge attention-grabber. Disclaimer: Only watch this one if you want to feel a little vomit-y. Go Daddy claims that this Super Bowl season, they’ll be taming things down quite a bit.
Zipcar plays upon that old pop and poetry standard: your car is a vagina.
Method gives the down-and-dirty a cleaning in an effort to make their mopping soap erotic and inclusive for both genders.
Thanks, Martinson Coffee. I’ve never heard of you before, but your subtle allusions to diamonds, engagements, and orgasms in your coffee bean ad is particularly inspired.
Herbal Essences pretty much pioneered the sexy ad for an unsexy product with their “Yes Yes Yes” campaign. But have you ever noticed how Buster Bluth (Tony Hale) is the star? Tell me your day didn’t just get unimaginably better.
This ad eventually was banned, but you have to hand it to Reebok for effortlessly coupling an exercise regimen with infidelity.
Manhattan Mini Storage
Manhattan Mini Storage wins this round, in my opinion. The voice of their copy is irreverent, pop culture savvy, and seemingly preoccupied with sex and politics. It almost makes you forget they are actually advertising for a 8×8 cement square for you to put cardboard boxes in.