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The NSA Is Watching Terrorists Watch Porn, Because National Security

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Porn

The latest classified document leaked by Edward Snowden reveals that the National Security Administration has tracked the online porn habits of suspected terrorists – who, as it turns out, really like online porn. Suspected terrorists: they’re just like us!

The NSA planned to use this information to exploit “personal vulnerabilities” and publicly discredit the initiative’s six targets. These supposed vulnerabilities included “online promiscuity” and “[publishing] articles without checking facts,” which makes sense, considering every college student in America is an avowed enemy of the state.

For all the mundane details of the surveillance project that he does share, Snowden leaves out the most important part: what are suspected terrorists into. Niche stuff? Some ironic patriotic fare? Or any old WMDs (Websites for Masturbating Dicks)? 

Image via Veer

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