Note: The author of this post is dating this guy in real life. Guess what they do on date night?
Anyone who knows me knows that I am a staunch beer garden advocate. Nobody is ever like, “I wonder where Melissa is?” People know where to find me. So I won’t even try to pretend I am an unbiased source, here. But it’s hard for anyone to deny that the beer garden is the perfect location for every life event. Seeing old friends? Beer garden. Making friends in a new city? Beer garden. Your parents are visiting? Beer garden. Getting married? Beer garden reception. Yes. Seriously.
You know what a beer garden is the best for though? First dates. Here’s why.
Everyone knows that the world’s most reliable social lubricant is booze. This is not up for discussion. And at a beer garden, you can talk about the interesting kinds of beers if you know about them, and ask about the interesting kinds of beers if you don’t. You can also practice saying danke schön to each other which I think means “you look stunning in the moonlight” in German. Somebody google it.
The picnic table set-up is an excellent way to judge how your date interacts with other people? At a cramped picnic table, interaction is unavoidable. Your elbow will be in someone’s beer, and someone’s will be in yours. And that is sort of the point. And if you like that, and your date does not, you might meet bigger problems down the line. Plus, you can see if they’re rude, funny, shy, or if they make friends with everyone who sits down next to them and ignore you. In that case it’s so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen etc.
Sharing (Beer Pitches) Is Caring
Pitchers of beer are the name of the game at beer gardens. This means you have to talk about what you want to drink. Are they willing to share or do they insist on drinking a vodka tonic? Call me a beer garden snob (and seriously, I am okay with that), but vodka tonic at the beer garden? That’s like being the only one at a Halloween costume without a costume. Come on. At least wear a funny hat. At least sip a Hoegaarden. And sharing beer in a beer pitcher is only one step away from sharing spit. Which means kissing. Which is adorable.
Can They Can Kick It Beer Garden-Style?
Can she forgo her mini-dress and heels for some jeans? Is he squirming in his seat texting other people because he wants to be in a club dancing to house music? These people do not belong in the beer garden. They are in alien territory. You seem like a cool person. You deserve to date someone who can relax with you.
Are They Worldly And Adventurous?
Can he order his beer in Czech? Is she willing to try the German beer she can’t pronounce? That’s sexy.
Have you ever been a bit uncomfortable on a first date and thought, “I could use a little fresh air, here?” Well, welcome to all the fresh air you can get. Even crazy congested cities like New York have spacious beer gardens that attract people from greener pastures. (You might even run into a Midwesterner, if you’re into that sort of thing.) Don’t forget that trees create a great ambiance. Also, your date won’t have to leave you by yourself, inside, to go outside for a smoke. (I suppose, if the date is not going well, this is a bad thing. But let’s be positive. Beer garden dates have a much higher success rate than non-beer garden dates.)
Will They Share A Basket Of French Fries And A Bratwurst With You?
You can do your victory dance now that you have a happy belly to go with your happy heart. (Convince yourself it’s beating faster because you’re crushing on your date, not because your cholesterol is breaking the charts.) And you know, a kiss from someone with stinky french fry breath is so romantic when you have stinky french fry breath, too. It’s the little things.
It’s Way Harder To Get Totally Trashed
One of the best things about beer is that it takes a little bit more to take you to the “oops I had one too many and now I am suddenly so drunk I can’t stand up” place. Obviously it can still happen (trust me, I know) but if it does, it’s probably the sign of hours of great conversation. Sounds like a great date! That’s the whole idea!