Date Reporters

A True Story of a Very Bizarre Double-Blind Date

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This is the latest post from our Chicago-based Date Reporter Lakey Lumin. She’ll be giving you a first-hand peek into her dating life. Catch up on her story here. In this post she covers playing wing-woman for her roommate.

Gather ‘round friends, for the most bizarre “first (double-blind) date” ever.

How we met: This is actually a weird one. My roommate, Ellie,  is also on HowAboutWe and started to chat with this guy named Patrick. They seem to be hitting it off over the web, so she gave him her phone number. After a few days of texting, he asked if she wanted to meet at a bar to watch football. The invite was totally last minute and it was conditional on the fact that she bring a friend for his friend. Naturally, being the wonderful(ly desperate for fun) roommate that I am, I agreed to go along. However, my agreement was also conditional on three hings: He must be tall, cute, and single. It’s not like I was expecting it to be a love match or anything, but I didn’t want to show up and talk to someone with a wife for two hours. Plus, I’m 5’11”, so it’s slightly important for me to date people who are not hobbit sized.

What we did: So Ellie and I arrive at the bar. Her guy, Patrick, is super adorable. And so is mine. Until he opens his mouth. “My” guy, let’s call him Ryan (after his resemblance to Mr. Gosling), is totally hammered. Did I mention it was 5 o’clock on a Sunday? Soon he finds out that Ellie and Patrick just met off an online dating site and he starts ridiculing them, saying they have no connection and that if you are in your 20’s and already online dating you must be desperate. I start to get annoyed at him, saying that’s not true, that online dating is fun, regardless of age and there isn’t a stigma anymore. He comes back with what guys constantly say to girls: “You know you are cute enough to just walk up to anyone on the street at any time and they would come home with you, right?” Like this is the ideal situation for any girl: interrupting a stranger on the street and asking for random sex. I tell him that I don’t really get hit on very much at bars and think online dating is a fun way to meet people that you already know are single and share your interests. He doesn’t seem convinced, but thankfully the conversation moves on to other topics and I go back to drinking my Oktoberfest.

Like this is the ideal situation for any girl: interrupting a stranger on the street and asking for random sex.

Favorite Part:
Ryan to me: “Let’s make out. I wanna make out with you.”
Me: “Okay, I’ll make out with you if you can tell me what both of our names are.”
Ryan: “Ummmm, Lindsay and Karen?”
Me: “Nope!”
(This is a trick I’ve used lots of times for lots of various things with guys I meet in bars. I’m good with names and assume everyone else sucks. Most of the time, I happen to be right.)

Total $$$ I spent: $0. We only had one drink, which drunk Ryan Gosling paid for, so it wasn’t really a wallet busting night.

Rules broken: Loitering, perhaps? It took our party of four literally half an hour to walk two blocks to go get a drink at another bar. Once we got there, I got sidetracked by a puppy and never even drank my second drink. Party foul?

How we left it: Although this date sounds like an absolute disaster, it was actually kind of fun. In the way that teasing a super drunk person can be fun. Plus, even though I knew going into it I might not have a good time, I just thought it was an interesting situation and I was bored. So why not? It’s good to say yes to things once in awhile, even if you don’t want to do them.  Plus, now Ellie totally owes me one next time I need to call on her to be a wingwoman for me!

Love,
Lakey

Lakey Lumin is a gender sociologist who is determined to live up her 20’s in Chicago. She is inordinately impressed by good trivia skills and witty banter. Follow her on Twitter @LoveLustLakey and check out her other blog at www.chicagonow.com/love-lust-lakey.

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